Reigate Hill, The Sportsman

2 etagieR
Tuesday 29th June

Venue: Reigate Hill

Walkers: Farty, T.B., Windy, Mrs Provincial, 12 Legs, Registrara, Clat

Distance: 6 and a bigger bit, miles.

Find of the walk: a urinelle/pump attachment.

Weather: very humid, which made for hot and sticky conditions, and damp patches - don't go there matron.

We first have to congratulate Windy on her magnificent appearance. Having walked the long distance from the recent race meeting at Ascot, all she had left was her titfer - and a splendid thing it was too. Mind you, we had to extricate her and Mrs P from two men, who were closing -in fast, clutching their styrofoam cups.

n.b. the food kiosk here has changed hands, and the appearance has improved dramatically - we have yet to sample it's wares. However, the same cannot be said for the conveniences which were quite 'inconvenience'.

A kestrel was spotted wheeling and diving about, as we looked over towards the magnificent view from this parking spot.

As we started downhill, Farty found a wonderful mossy 'installation' - rather ethereal and mysterious, but quite a thing to see. At the bottom (of the hill), we turned left , over a road, and up a track which was strewn with fly-tipping debris. We then walked underneath the motorway, and climbed upwards once more, to eventually meet up with previous Rahrah-trodden paths.

At one point we found a group of 'mature' women, dithering at a crossroads, not sure which way to go. Farty showed them her map, and so did Clat, so think they then got the message, and set off on the right course. You see, they didn't have a T.B. with them, and he is so useful with his equipment.

We pushed on and no fields of cattle to cross, although they were spotted nearby . One set of cows had had their rude bits painted red, or was it something to do with puberty - don't go there again, matron.

We passed a few nettles absolutely smothered with black hairy caterpillars - wondering what sort of butterflies they would make, and caught a glimpse of a fox slinking off along the path. After travelling through a wood, and a field full of poppies and grasses, we arrived at Fanny's Farm. Here, we had a well-earned pit-stop, and partook of refreshments. No cappuccinos here, but filter coffee was o.k. Purchases were made, loos checked out, plants examined, and books were browsed. This is quite an amazing place, so quirky and individual, which is all down to Fanny's touch (mind you, you couldn't call it Fanny's Farm in America, without a few unsavoury eyebrows being raised). yeeee ha

After a colossal break of 40 mins, it was time to push on. Up a bit, down a big bit, and after a tricky- road bit, we crossed the motorway and in to the outskirts of Merstham. Bunting adorned the road, which made it very festive, and good to see. Here we ventured across the Reigate Heath golf course, and watched men foraging in the long grass for their balls - matron again, then.

We bumped into other walkers and some of our party got 'stuck' with an Irish man (who appeared to be wearing his pyjamas), and his wife. He told them he had kissed the Blarney Stone - what, in his pyjamas? - this was not discovered.

Through Royal Alexandra and Albert School and towards the base of the hill once more. A walnut tree was spied, complete with green fruits, and Clat tried one - not to be recommended, although Farty was trying to recall a recipe for pickling them.

Slowly up the hill we climbed, and once at the top, the walking boots and equipment were discarded with glee - so a further walk to the pub was abandoned.

After a stretch and a good rub-down, we set-off in convoy for The Sportsman pub, but Angela had to breakaway for an appt with the hairdresser. This is a good spot, and the bar staff were friendly and helpful, taking pity on T.B. as they thought he looked hen-pecked (as if). We sat outside, and soon noticed a man with a one-wheeled bicycle, which obviously hadn't started off like that. He was a starer and a poser, fiddling with his equipment and sprawling on the grass - we decided he was distinctly odd - T.B. even asked if there were any 'special' homes in the area. We partook of lunch, and then moved to a shadier spot, and our starer was picked up in a car by a very normal-looking woman - i hope she knew him.

Another hat was on display by Chris, which was circa 1970s and came from LAX - the fashionista strikes again. We stayed longer than normal in the lovely and warm conditions, and Wind made us all laugh with some super-imposed photos supplied by the legendary Bill McNab.

Pub scores: Food -4, Value -4, Amb -4, Service - 5, giving a total of 17.

So, where to next week? We are hoping to do something in the Pease Pottage area - so watchout for messages. Enjoy the heat xxxxx