Dunnings, The Old Mill

Barefoot in the Park
Tuesday: 6th July

Venue: The Old Mill at Dunnings

Walkers: Farty, T.B., Mrs Provincial, Windy, 12 legs, and Clat

Distance: 7 miles

Find of the walk: Fossilised phallus and hairy bits

Weather: glorious - sunny to start, then a some cloudy bits, so temp. dropped a little and made walking more comfortable.

Before we started, Clat discovered she had left her boots at home, and was then to do the walk in her Fit Flops. These, plus her rather 'different' form of dress, meant that she was soon transformed into an old crone, fresh from the paddy fields, circa 1900 - but those shoes were excellent - not a blister in sight.

After leaving the pub, we were soon on track along the High Weald Landscape Trail. The fields were abundant with wild flowers, and all you could hear was the flip-flop sound of rubber on skin - bit like putting a condom on in the wind, then?

In a while we came to Standen - an N.T. property, and , hoping to stop off for a quick look and a coffee, we found the place closed - so, why does it seem that every N.T. place closes on a Tuesday? In fact, it's not open very much at all, and that would explain the quietness of the driveway - we pressed on. Our aim was to reach the Weir Wood Reservoir, but found the pathways quite badly marked, and so a bit of gate-climbing, and barbed-wire fence lifting, had to be performed. We had a pit-stop, and found our route, which meandered (good word) around the edge of this vast water (well it is at the moment). The track here is well laid out and quite flat (Clat friendly), and from there we headed into rougher countryside, passing the large and impressive weir wall on our right.

All was going well until we came to a field which had rather boggy and wet areas in our path. Knowing Wind's penchant for wet areas, we sent her on ahead to get wet, which she did a bit, and made a hasty retreat. We then spent quite a time circling these watery areas, trying to find our way round. The wettest bit looked like a scene from a Red Indian film/Constable painting, as it was filled with old carts - huge rusting wheels and other implements, jutting forlornly out of the mud - unwanted, and a real shame.

Then a 'hurrah' and waving of sticks from 12 legs , signalled that the path had been found once more, and we were soon crossing a footbridge, followed by another one, and up to join the Sussex Border Path. Shortly afterwards we had another stop, where Farty and Mrs P decided to display their gynaecological areas , passing this off as exercise ..................hmmmmm, and T.B. went on to all-fours, which worried us a bit.

Off we went again, noticing a couple of large deer, and passed a couple of farms, where the cows were chunky and docile, so 12 legs were safe. An error in navigation, behind some houses, meant that we had to cross a small brook at the wrong place, so here we had Tenko meets Bridge Over the River Kwai, as our brave and gallant walkers attempted their crossings. Some hung from branches and swayed across. Some got across and left a dog behind - some got their feet wet, some made use of a dumped park-bench, and some straddled large pipes in their quest for freedom and beyond. And , once over, it was noted that T.B. had acquired a plant trough - there's enterprise for you.

The pub came quickly into view and we were warmly welcomed by the bar staff, who were excellent, and also made a fuss of the dogs and gave them drinking water. We sat outside with the thud thud of the water-mill, and the tinkling of water running below us, as we enjoyed our lunch. High scores today: Food - 5, Ambience - 4, Value - 5, Service - 5, giving a whopping 19/20.

Next walk: Tuesday 13 July - Brockham Green, unless we think otherwise, as there will be a meeting of maps this week, but we shall tell you if this changes.