Warnham - The Sussex Oak

(2 blogs for the price of 1! First from Clatchat & second from Windy)

Tuesday 7 August

Sue's Birthday Browser

Walkers:  Farty and her shoulder, T.B., 2 Legs, Windy, Lil and Clat a.k.a. as the old battle-axe for today.  No Chris, due hospital appts.  No Trish although she is back in the country but not for long, and Minnie  still under vitinry reviews.

Distance: 5 miles - Farty not best pleased!!!

We arrived to find a busy car park, due, we found, to another party of walkers, and quite a big one too, by the looks of things.  T.B. was under orders to get booted and ready for the off, pronto, so he delayed his greetings, except his name for Clat, but it worked and we departed only 5 mins late!!!  He is sporting a rather splendid bindi on his forehead today, acquired courtesy of a kitchen cupboard.  It's great to have Farty back in our midst - she does repair quickly doesn't she?  

Across the road, alongside the church, and straight into fields of glowing and growing crops, and a woman doing some path research for the b.h.s. - not the shop methinks.  The skies were dark and forbidding but that did not deter us, and we were soon on the outskirts of the deer park.  However, Clat decided on a little detour, which meant crossing the A24 and over towards the Warnham Nature Reserve.  First, we had to cross a golf course following the correct footpath signs, but a golfer waved at us, signing that we had gone the wrong way - i.e. right across his fore-play (tee hee).  Clat soon explained that we were right and he acquiesced a bit.  Hey ho, we got across and found a rather nice cafe, and very quickly managed to confuse the server.  Just outside was a rather large insectory which had been aptly called Buginham Palace - cute.  Beverages and cakes for some of us, a trip to the loo, and we were off back across the A24 to resume normal service. 

We passed a very dead deer oh dear, and then came to the path which took us across the deer park.  Some very magnificent stags to behold, with massive antlers, obviously in training for their forthcoming rutting - watch out girls.  The rutting season is almost upon us ,look out, and we saw lots of deer today,the males with large sets of antlers,and nervous looking females as far away as possible.  Bit like the old days down the disco. Onwards we trekked, and more fields before eventually arriving at Warnham Manor, which looked very neat and groomed (it should be for the price of the apartments here).  We chose a slightly different route for our return, and in the middle of a wooded area we bumped right into the 'many' walkers as previously mentioned - 22 in fact,  and all jolly keen.

It wasn't that long before we were on our final stages - far too short a walk for the likes of Farty, but a return to the pub  at 1330 is unheard of - until today.  Actually our return co-incided with the 22 'others' but quite a few of them went home.  Into the pub then, and a good job too, cos it started to rain.   We found a table close to the bar, and the landlord had saved a pie for T.B. So all was well with the world, until he pulled out a brochure for his 'valet' treat.  Here, it seems, you can have a shave, massage and all sorts, and then we got to the waxing page - sac, back, crack, and gluteus maximus anyone?  seems lots of athletes are hairless and so we wonder if T.B. will get his gentleman parts smoothed over, but no, he has settled for a shave  - but which part?

The food was great as it always is, however they forgot Windy's spuds, but seeing as she had forgotten her shoes we wonder what the 3rd thing will be.  However, the former was put down to a new bloke on veg, and the latter could be the beginnings of a Cinderella complex.  We tucked in  and toasted Sue's health and birthday - apparently she will be celebrating by having her bushes trimmed.   The head of 'the others' came over and leant us her walking book - 'Walk and Talk your way to Health', then another head said he would love to see us on one of their walks - somehow, i think not, but you never know.

Birthday Girl!

Most of us are really into the olly-impics so it wasn't long before the party broke up and we went our separate ways.  We shall keep you informed as to next week's venue - ta ta.

Tues 7th August.

Warnham. Sussex Oak.

Walkers: Sue, Clat, Lil, Farty, TB, Wind.

Distance: 5 miles.

Find of the walk: Other ramblers.

We met at the Sussex Oak car park and found it to be unusually packed with other cars.  Enquiries were made and it seemed,shock,horror,other ramblers were in the area.  We came upon them later on,plodding purposefully towards us,as we scattered out of the way.  Martin was taking a "comfort break" at the time,but thankfully was well hidden,otherwise he might have turned round in surprise and splashed more than his boots.

This was Sue's birthday walk,and so after half an hour we stopped for a coffee break at Warnham Nature Reserve.  Having totally confused the girl behind the counter with a variations on a theme coffee order,(we should know better,we had enough of that on board),we settled outside and asked Sue what she was doing for her birthday.  She told us she was having some men round to cut her hedges......I know. I know,you can see where this is going.  Sue said on no account did she want to read anything about any bush trimming,so we'll leave it there.  I may have said too much already.

We set off again,and as so often happens,we found ourselves on a golf course.  Our meanderings across the greens seemed to annoy one chap in particular, I can't think why.  Clat(red rag/anorak to a bull)pointed out we were merely following the signs.  He grudgingly agreed, and then couldn't find his ball,asking Clat if she had perhaps trodden on it. Prickly Pringle wearer!

The rutting season is almost upon us ,look out, and we saw lots of deer today,the males with large sets of antlers,and nervous looking females as far away as possible.  Bit like the old days down the disco.

As we neared the pub we spotted the other dreaded ramblers slightly ahead of us,heading the same way. The olympic spirit kicked in,as some of us took a short cut at high-ish speed.  You could almost hear the Benny Hill music. It was pretty much a dead heat and with a quick long jump we managed to bag a table.  The food was good,as usual here.  Martin told us he'd got a voucher for his birthday for general pampering.wet shave etc. and also for waxing of the "back,sack and crack".  We offered to do this for him,as Wind had some red christmas candles left over that she could melt down,but he didn't seem keen.  

 A member of the other rambling group came over and said if we logged on to the Horsham council website,we could find out more about them.  Come and join us,he said.  Lovely,we said,feigning interest.  Apparently,some of their walks are 12 miles long.  I don't think so!

It was lovely to see Farty back in action after a horrible time with her dislocated shoulder.  She spent a week wearing a sling,and was having trouble putting her hair up and putting on her bra. Martin tried to help,but the chignon was more of a chignoff,and he couldn't manage the bra fastenings. He used to get it off easily enough,said Farty, nostalgically.  So she spent the week with no bra on, and wearing an alice band.  Good job she wasn't out and about,she might have been taken into care!

Next week week is TBA.  Happy birthday for Thursday Sue. xx

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