Isfield, the Royal Oak, Barcombe

An a-moo-ousing walk in the provinces - and Polly Possibly becomes Polly Probably!

Venue: We met at Mrs P's gaff in Isfield, and started the walk from the village cricket green to join the river Ouse. We planned to lunch at the Anchor at Barcombe on the way back as it is only 20 mins into the walk from the start point.

Walkers: Amazingly, Polly Possibly - now re-christened Polly Probably!, Windy Nohills and Mrs Provincial. Our friend, Fat Pammy, had to cry off at last minute as had to go into work for a couple of hours, but she joined us for lunch ( and coffee . . . and drinks after . . .)




Distance: About 7 1/2 miles - not bad for a novice walker!

Time taken: ages! 5 hours in total, but the first incident took about 45 mins, and we stopped for lunch for about an hour, plus a mid morning break.

Weather: Rain forecast and it did rain while we were having our coffee before setting off, but remained cloudy until after lunch when the sun almost broke through. All in all, a lovely day for walking as the temperature was just right, not too hot or cold and most importantly, dry.

Find of the walk: a child's fleece jumper

Having spent a very pleasant hour drinking coffee at my place, we decided couldn't put off the inevitable any longer so set off for the village green and headed down to the river Ouse. As you can see from the photos, it really is a very pretty walk as the river meanders (Ms Nohills loves that word) down towards Lewes and the coast. However, we soon realised that this would not be a good walk for Chris as every field contained cows of all sorts of size and age! We soon came across a herd of mums and very cute and quite young babies (cows, not people!) and while debating how to best negotiate our way round them, to our horror one of the calves lost his footing and slid into the river. Panic stations all round - the poor calf desperately tried to get back up the bank but just couldn't make it. We looked on in horror feeling quite helpless - we thought about trying to hoist it out but there was no way we could get near it and anyway would no doubt have ended up in the river too. So I decided to leg it to the pub which was only about 5 mins away (well, I did run!) to try to get help and to see if they knew who the farmer was who owned the cows. Unfortunately, they didn't know, but said it has happened before and the fire brigade would have to be called. One of the young barmaids grabbed a piece of webbing and came back to try to help but just as we got back to the others, mercifully Polly had come to the rescue and had somehow managed to cajole the calf further up the river where it finally managed to struggle out. Massive relief all round! And this was only 20 mins into the walk . . .

We then wondered if fate was conspiring against us, as our barmaid then informed us that the pub was unable to serve food that day (despite me ringing the day before to check) as they had a problem in their kitchens . . not half as big a problem as we had as there wasn't another pub in the vicinity! So, we continued with the walk whilst yours truly did a bit of thinking on the hoof - haha! - and decided the only option was to do an "add on" half way round to the only other possible pub (didn't dare tell PP, had promised to be gentle with her today!)

The next field of cows presented yet another problem - while sussing them out we noticed that one was considerably larger than the others - oh no, it was a bull and a massive one at that! Was someone trying to tell us something? Personally, I reckon PP had set these diversions up on purpose . . we really didn't fancy having to turn back so ended up doing another big diversion, tiptoeing around the outside of the field hoping the bull wouldn't notice - mercifully, he didn't. After all this excitiment we took a break and sat down by the river and then noticed that we were surrounded by and almost sitting in cowpats - so that explained the whiff, nothing to do with our close encounter with a bull . . .

The river then leads to Barcombe Mills where we crossed the toll bridge - the signs give you the history of the bridge. It's such a pretty place too and very popular with anglers.

We then joined the road and having rung Fat Pam to tell her our change of plans, set off on our add-on. Suddenly, cries of "car" - and who should whizz round the corner like Delboy and Rodney to the rescue but Fat Pam! However, we all declined offers of a lift and sent her on to the pub - the Royal Oak at Barcombe - where she ordered for us as last orders were at 1.45 - in 10 mins time. We desperately needed the drink that awaited and scoffed our sandwiches and regaled FP with the story of the rescue - much hilarity all round. The pub scored OK - not a very smart pub but welcoming, and their cheesy chips were just fab. Ambiance spoiled somewhat by an extremely irritating barking dog whose owner had not a clue as to how to shut him up. A number of suggestions came from our table!

So Fat Pam left us again (that's an easy way of walking, methinks!) and we headed back - but this time to try to save time and distance your truly had to do a bit of off-piste navigating. I now know how stressful it is leading everyone, particularly when this part was completely unplanned. However, the waymarkers all around here are excellent and easy to follow although I did keep checking on the trusty compass.

As the clouds started to clear, the views were absolutely beautiful and we could see the Downs very clearly. At one point we crossed the old roman road and PP and Miss Nohills tried to sound interested when it was pointed out - I think they were expecting to see legions of hunky roman soldiers. No chance! Lots of wildlife - we caught sight of a kestrel and a buzzard (in his thermals again), bunnies and a field of grouse. As ever, some gorgeous houses which PP had a great time gawping. We even managed to do some scrumping - sweetcorn this time - and followed Farty's advice of picking the ones with the dark beard!

So,by some miracle we actually ended up back at the village green - only a little bit weary but having had an eventful but lovely day. All back to my place where Fat Pam once again turned up - are you sensing a pattern? and gin and tonics and wine all round sitting outside in the garden. How civilised!

PP assures me that she did really enjoy herself and would like to come again - so I'll call her bluff and drag her out again next week! so I'll let you all know what us lot in the Provinces have planned.

Have a good week!

xxx