Walton on the Hill - The Duke's Head

Tuesday 10 April

T.B.sB.B.W (which translates as Token Bloke's Birthday Boy Walk)

Walkers: Farty, T.B., 6 Legs, Clat.

Trish is visiting Dad in Beatles country, Chris -appts., Wendy's Mum has had a bit of a turn and is awaiting doc's attention, (we wish her well), and Lil is returning from the seaside. However, Sally was able to join us for lunch.

Distance: 7 miles

Find of the Walk: 0

A depleted but not deflated collection of us for today's birthday outing. After some pretty awful wet weather, the sun shone brightly, gentle breezes abounded, and the promise of rain didn't occur until we were in the pub - perfect then.

We decided to cobble our walk together as we went along, and aimed for Epsom Downs and a coffee stop (yippeeeeee). Farty and T.B. were serenaded for much of the way with extracts from Phantom of the Opera which had been on Channel 5 the day before, and what a wonderful production it was - The Albert Hall no less. So, in between some fabulous (! Ed) renditioning on Sue and Clat's part, we managed to scare most of the wildlife on the way. Even poor Minnie wasn't enjoying the vocalising either. We even had a request - 'please stop'. The inuendos then started with Clat quoting from the Channel 5 showing of back-to-back Carry On Films ' let me punch your ticket madam' , and 'let me inspect your port hole' etc. etc. - so you see she didn't get out much last weekend - but you should see her hall , stairs and landing - ha ha ha ha ha.

Well we broke cover from some woods and spied The Rubbing House pub for our intended coffee. We noted the original Epsom Grandstand circa 1879, a very small building in comparison to the others, and is now a listed building. Sue informed us that she has had tea in there with the trainers and other members of the racing scene - the things you find out.

A sheltered spot outside the pub had us parked up for a while, and delicious coffee was served. T.B. got out his new toy - a birthday present for himself - an i pad, and proceeded to demonstrate some of its 'apps'. so we looked at a constellation of stars and other things before wending our way.

Southwards, over Langley Vale, and towards the outskirts of Headley. We motored along quite nicely and eventually got onto Walton Heath, Banstead Heath, and our return to the pub at 2. Beautifully timed we were, to intercept Sally and our lunch. Wendy, the lovely landlady, came over for a chat, and took our orders. The dregs of a beer festival were evident, and she was using these to feed her plants - so, Sherlock, this is the secret of her magnificent blooms.

Food was fab - it always is, and the service excellent. Some of us even had a pudding, and after another cawwffeeee, we had a quiz. Sally answered most of the questions with 'Rick Astley', and we learnt that a nubile woman means 'marriageable'.

We don't know where we shall be next week but you will be warned in due course. For the time being enjoy yourselves and get your butts filled xxxx