Slaugham, The Chequers

Amavimus, Amamus, Amabimus.  Ooer!

Tues 27th March

Walkers: Eight legs, Farty, Token Bloke, Windy.

Weather: Gorgeous

Distance: 6 1/2 miles ish

Time taken: 3 hours ish, included a coffee break.

Find of walk: glove on a signpost

 Windy suggested this venue as she had noticed it when to-ing and fro-ing recently en route,or not,as it turned out to Ashfold Crossways.  It looked like our sort of place, all olde worlde charm, and as Chris said, it had a Midsomer Murder/Miss Marple feel about it.  Windy had got quite carried away and had printed off a walk and some fascinating facts about Slaugham, pronounced "Slaffam" and proceeded to bore everyone to death anorack style (2 pairs of glasses were necessary to read the blurb). She soon regretted this as it resulted in several hints that she should write the blog! 

The suggested walk was no good as it was only 4 1/2 miles, and even TB and Windy had to admit this was too short(?!).  Mon had kindly mapped out something more suitable.  As advised, we parked tidily in the church (13th century) car park and set off in a direction.  I couldn't tell you which one. Chris and TB were both wearing combat trousers and were soon only visible from the waist up.  We walked through the church lychgate which has the above inscription, meaning, we have loved, we do love, we shall love.  Aaaah!  We soon reached the large mill pond, which is the major headwater of the River Ouse, which flows out to sea at Newhaven, incase you didn't know.  ( I am copying this from the blurb if you're wondering!)

We wandered through undulating fields, over streams, had a nose at large gorgeous houses, including Slaugham Manor ( police training centre, yeah right, looked good for a jolly!), Slaugham Place, venue for weddings etc. and Lydhurst Place, a huge estate which seemed to have it's own moat and bridge (well ok, small stream).  Googled it, but couldn't find out anything, so it must be owned by an east european. Windy found it impossible not to try this stile.

We oohed and aahed at daffs and other spring flowers, and fab magnolias, and chickens were spotted too, so all was well with the world!  Minnie had an extra spring in her step too, as once off the lead she raced back and forth.  A slight wrong turn was taken, I believe on the Landscape Trail ( I could be wrong!).  No matter though, as we were soon in Warninglid (originally called Werna Gelad, meaning Werna's Path. Yawn), and popped into the Half Moon for a coffee.  We could get used to these coffee stops!.  We met a lovely husky type dog in the pub garden, which was an Alaskan something breed.  He was only 15 weeks old, and already huge.  Minnie had a bit of a bark just to let him know who was boss!

At this point I believe we'd done about 6 miles and were not far from our destination, so a shorter walk than usual, which disappointed TB and Wend.  Thoughts turned to lunch, as they often do.  We knew pollack was on the menu, and Mon wondered if they had bollocks too.  We wondered how best to cook them.  Mon thought sliced, dusted in seasoned flour and lightly fried.  Eat your heart out Delia!  Anyway, we thought we couldn't eat a whole one!

We got back to St. Mary's and had a look round the graveyard and church, and talk turned to death, as you do, and it seems the other night Martin thought Mon was dead, as her arm was freezing cold.  We suggested he should have checked her core temperature.  This caused much hilarity and talk of thermometers and dipsticks, and where to put them.  Honestly, how old are we?!

The food at The Chequers turned out to be good, if rather expensive.  The constant Stephan Grappelli music eventually became irritating, especially the up-tempo numbers, which had the effect of making you eat faster, if that's possible with us lot!  Maybe that was the intention.

After lunch we had another stroll towards Handcross, pausing at a field of chocolate coloured cows with two sweet calfs (calves?), quite new by the look of them.  Suddenly the mother cow's sides started heaving and we thought we were about to witness another birth, but the heaving stopped and she carried on eating grass, but as we said, some fat cows do continue eating while giving birth, but they mainly live in Croydon.  Controversial!  We carried on a bit further and then turned back, stopping to stroke a couple of horses, looking all noble with lips quivering.(the horses).

As we walked back through the village, Windy insisted on referring to the blurb again (OMG, enough already!), pointing out the white telephone box painted in the 1920s, the Lord of the manor insisted, an Edward V11 post box, very rare apparently, I think he was the fat bloke who had all the mistresses, so perhaps he didn't last long, Foyles, once the village workhouse, and Bosworths, an early timber framed building with a Horsham stone roof. Phew!

We got back to our tidily parked cars, and everyone was keen to get going in case Wind had some more fascinating facts to impart.  We took a moment to admire a beautifully clipped hedge in the shape of clouds, with a lovely magnolia behind it.  Wot a picture!  As we were about to get in our cars, a couple turned up with a lovely silky haired dog with matchstick legs.  Is he a real dog? asked Chris.  The dog looked offended.  Turns out she was a Bedlington Whippet cross who had been for a paddle, hence the skinny legs!  The couple had lots of top tips for walks and pubs in the area, and Mon took notes.  We maybe back!

Thanks for guiding us Mon.  Next week we're meeting at Vinols Cross pub, West Hoathly. It used to be The Intrepid Fox, but was Vinols originally. Mon misheard mine host and thought he said Vinyls.  She wondered if they did a nice line in lino!  See you soon. XXX