Nuthurst, The Black Horse

The all encompassing walking stick
Sunbathing break!

Below: Our Clatters modelling the find of the walk




Leonardslee Gardens - wow!

Rhododendron mauvium superbum!

Tuesday 25th May: The Black Horse at Nuthurst + Leonardslee Gardens

Walkers: Farty, T.B., 12 Legs, Windy, Mrs Provincial, and me - Clat. -what a turnout! - 12 legs did not partake of the gardens as dawgs are verboten

Distance: 6 miles + 21/2 miles

Find of the walk: a horse's gaiter

What a fabulous day! Perfect for our walk, and thanks to erroneous forecast, it did not rain. This area feels like you are going back in time - not a shop to be seen for miles.

Our fashionista has done it again. Chris was displaying her brand new walking-stick. Beautifully turned, (the stick), with a metal point , and a compass set into the top. It is perfect for keeping cows and unwanted livestock at bay, so she now has protection.

What a variation this route gave us - open fields, some wonderful vistas, wooded dells, farmyards and a few stiles. We came across 2 groups of school children (year 4 - so about 8-9 yrs old). They made a huge fuss of Minnie the wonder poodle, and she wasn't too keen - aaaaah the hazards of stardom. Farty and T.B. drooled over a rather perfect veg. patch, and she impressed us with her latin names for the plants - verbascum superbum, bluebellium grandiflorum, etc.

Whilst walking past a line of poplar trees, Mrs P (animal rescue), swung into action. Vaulting a gate, she zoomed off to inspect a sheep which was down on its uppers, or the other way round, having been segregated from the rest of the flock. She discovered other such woolly jumpers in the same condition, and as they had been provided with food and water, surmised (that's a good word), that they were o.k., and were probably there for their own good - but it needed to be checked-out. Excellent.

Anyway, back to the walk - we decided to cut it a bit short, as pub closes at 3 and stops food at 2.30. We returned in plenty of time for our fare, to be met with a crowded house, and a long wait for food. T.B. is becoming a splendid cabin crew member, fetching drinks, taking our meal orders, and negotiating with the management. So much so, that today we were rewarded with a free round of drinks. I think one of the barmaids possessed a free round of something, judging by the upper regions.................................................. hmmmmm

After lunch we parted company with 12 legs and proceeded to the Gardens. It is £8 entrance, but sadly, this place is closing to the public on 30 June, as some rich person has bought it. Beautiful area, set on a hill, with long, sloping and meandering walks through trees, rockeries, and woodland glades. Dotted everywhere were magnificent azaleas (superbum) and rhododendrons (magnifibum) , and I want one of thosebum. There is also a yellow one with a wonderful scent - smellybum.

Many topics of conversation this afternoon , including involuntary breaking of wind, and hamsters whose eyes bulge when you pick them up. I don't recommend you try it, but they really do pop out.

There is a series of ponds/lakes at the bottom or, bum, where we saw geese and ducks, with their little babies, chugging around on the water, or waddling by the water's edge. So peaceful, and restful, but a cup of tea was beckoning us upwards once more, only to find the refreshment areas had closed - oh bum bum.We moved over to the glass houses and looked at stuff for sale. Not many plants available today, but business seemed to be booming.

Time had robbed us once again of staying longer, so we said our good-byes, and ventured homewards into the rush-hour traffic.

Next walk: Tuesday 1 June - Martini -(any time, any place, anywhere) , cos we don't have a clue at the moment. Any suggestions gratefully received!

Balcombe Photos

Buggering about at Balcombe!

Extra photos from Bordering on the Ridiculous

Hippos at Borde Hill?!









The gardens

Balcombe Viaduct

Borde Hill Gardens + Balcombe

BORDERING ON THE RIDICULOUS!
Clatchat suitably dressed for the weather . . .a lovely summer's day in May!


Below: TB modelling the Find of the Walk

Balcombe viaduct

Venue: Borde Hill Gardens

Walkers: Farty, TB, Clatchat, 12 legs, Wendy Nohills and Mrs Provincial

Distance: 7 3/4 miles - felt like further!

Weather: Lovely and sunny to start - hurrah we thought, summer has arrived at long last! However, started to cloud over and as can be seen by Clatchat's attire, turned somewhat chilly later on

Find of the walk: TB's stylish shirt! Found abandoned by the wall of Balcombe viaduct by Farty. TB didn't look too keen on modelling it until it had been through the washing machine!

We set off from Borde Hill only a little after 10.30 - down the path from the car park, only to have to retrace our steps as realised the road was quite narrow with traffic passing at speed. We managed to cut a little of the road walking off and were soon "off piste". We crossed over the railway line where we all decided to act like railway children and wave at the train who kindly toot-tooted back. A bit of speculation about the extra track which we think is an unused spur of the Bluebell line , and we believe there are plans afoot to reopen it at some point.

So, talking of bluebells, we were soon in the most glorious woods and fields where the blueys were a stunning sight. We had an early break as found a pretty spot by a stream where there was wild garlic in abundance - Farty kindly helped yours truly pick loads of it, Clat provided carrier bags and Miss Nohills remembered the recipe for wild garlic soup!

We then arrived at Balcombe viaduct which Clatters hadn't seen before - we think she was suitably impressed by the view "underneath the arches"! Much hilarity as all us girlies tried to get a leg up (!) onto the walls for a photo shoot - 12 legs first up, obviously the fittest of the bunch, followed by a very undignified haul up of Mrs P, and a slightly less so one of Ms Nohills. Farty and Clat decided to take the easy and sensible option of a lower wall . . . and all the while TB acted as David Bailey . . . This is where we found the Find of the Walk - a very fetching checked shirt abandoned by the wall - we didn't like to think how come it found it's way there - best not to think too hard about that one!

Onwards we wended our merry way - another brief stop while TB gingerly tried on the shirt and posed for a picture. We passed a group of ramblers coming the other way and hoped we didn't look a old as they did! A few gentle hills today but not too bad as Wheezy Windy Wend managed without too much complaint! Finally, 7 3/4 miles later we ended up back at Borde Hill. We had lunch at their restaurant/Tea Coffee shop, Cafe Elvira, which being Borde Hill was really quite civilised. Lovely setting, good menu, difficult to decide what to have as it all looked yummy, and it didn't disappoint. We sat in the garden pretending not to be cold! A lovely friendly waitress got talking about her pussycat - no, I won't make any jokes! - called Colin the Cat who was giant size and a real beauty - we even got shown the photos. Apparently her other cat is called C4 as in C for Cat! Scores on the doors: 4 for each category making it 16/20.

12 legs left us after nosh and the rest of us went for a look around the gardens. The nice lady on the cash desk took pity on us and let all 5 of us in for the price of 3 as we only had an hour and a half 'til the gardens closed. We loved the gardens, the rhodis and azaleas were stunning and in full bloom. Much curious interest in the various statues scattered around the place ( an exhibition is on this month). Some OK, others strange, all expensive! We decided it was time for us to leave after Clat was overheard by a very sensible couple talking about touching up a lovely smooth exhibit - they looked definitely Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells types! Much to their discomfort they then found themselves sitting at the next door picnic table to the one where we retired after leaving the gardens . . at that point hysteria was setting in and we were all in need of a glass of wine! However, sadly since everything was closed we decided to call it a day - but not without seeing off the D's of TW who decided to make a quick exit from us motley lot!

Next walk: next Tuesday 25 May at Leonardslee gardens, Lower Beeding, Horsham RH13 6PP.

See the gardens before they close to the public for ever! See you there!

PS Am having my usual problem of uploading more than a few photos to the blog, so will try to publish the missing ones on a separate one. Apologies!

Walton Heath or Tadworth, Dukes Head

If I had a hammer - oh!  I do!
Tuesday 11 May :

Venue: Duke's Head, Walton Heath or Tadworth as Mon says! Walton Mk 2

Walkers: Farty, T. (Show us your gusset)B. Windy, Clat. No 12 legs, and Mrs P is celebrating - happy wedding anniversary!

Distance: 7 3/4 miles

Find of the Walk: a nearly-new club hammer

It was very chilly today - whatever happened to the summer? again.
T.B. was therefore very keen to show us his papal purple long johns. His offer of a viewing was overwhelmingly rejected, and we made do with a glimpse of lower leg area instead.

We set off over the Heath and very soon found ourselves at a confusing (which way next?) sign. Thanks to T.B's compass we found South - our route. We noticed signs which read 'permissive rides' - is this some kinda kinky sex thing? Sadly not, just a route for the hawses - (they speak like that, round here). Farty went a bit aboriginal, and pointed out some burrowing bees with her stick.

From there, we picked up a familiar track, and found ourselves crossing two fairways on the golf course. We were condescendingly waved on by one player (dreadful bunker shot), and soon met two lovely shire horses being ridden in the opposite direction. Having safely escaped being 'balled' we did a tight turn and ventured down, and over the M25 which was INCREDIBLY LOUD today. Then, suddenly, we were plunged into beautiful, pungent bluebell woods - absolutely glorious. Such a dark blue/purple, with the odd white one here and there - so worth the walk just to see this sight. We left the woods and emerged to find a glorious vista with a bit of rape, before encountering more bluebells.

Up along a track and across a road to some fields with very friendly horses, and head of the herd was Colonel Carthorse, complete with magnificent moustache, which could have done with a bit of a waxing - how spiffing. We then encountered a newly-established, free-range chicken farm. Hundreds of non-descript brown and white things, rushing around, securely fenced -in with electrics to stop the foxes. We were so engrossed in this sight, that we missed our turning, and ended up in a 'trespassers will be prosecuted area'. The only way out was through a barbed-wire fence, which was a feat of limbo-dancing at its best. However, T.B., being tall of stature, had to resort to crawling through on his hands and feet - just like a scene from the Great Escape - but we did not get fired at, and T.B's purple papals were intact.

Our walk then took us through some urban areas - how surreal then to find a pair of dining crocodiles. Farty then spied a tiny butchers shop Ye Village Butcher where calves liver was on offer - she shot in. We followed and found her also purchasing some pork belly - scratched. The younger butcher then told us he was having pork belly this evening - 'what do you have yours with? ' asked an innocent Farty. 'Sex' was the reply from the older butcher, with glasses the size of aquariums, who thought it was hilarious. Their website is 'eatmymeat.co.uk' ------- mmmmmmmmm says it all really.

Oh well, back on track, and soon we were on the last part of the walk, which picked up the golf course once more. We arrived at the pub, to a very warm welcome from the blonde and buxom Landlady, who went to the top of T.B's tree 'cos she called him 'young man ' - and the rest of us fell about!

The food was great today - Landlady most dis-appointed she hadn't got full marks the last time. Wind's turn to do the ham,egg and chips test, and it was massive and tasty. Farty and Clat tried the venison sausages - good, and T.B. went fish and chips. We didn't stay long enough to score, so I think this might be o.k.?

Ambience - 4, Service - 5, Value - 4, Food - 4 - so they are doing very well.

Meeting point for next week: Tuesday 18th May, 10.30. Borde Hill (OS map # 135, 323265 ) We are hoping to walk Balcombe viaduct in the morning & do Borde Hill in the afternoon after lunch at Cafe Elvira  Excellent.

Where are all the Bluebells?
Friday 7th May Banstead Wood


What a relief to get away from the post-election blues & see some real 'Blues'!

Rape and Village

Tuesday May the 4th go with you - teee hee

Venue: The Plough, Leigh

Walkers: Farty, T.T.B (Token Technical Bloke), Windy, 12 legs, Clatchat. Mrs Provincial covering the Cotswolds and blogging well. Angela up with Viv, Sally doing SEP - yuk yuk yuk

Find of the walk: an i.c. stone -whatever that means

T.B became T.T.B today, because he was very kindly answering our tecky. questions. Wind produced a camera which had appeared to self-combust, rendering it useless, but it was worth a try.

Well here we are again, back at a fave of ours, ready to do Leigh Walk mk I. Clat a little tardy due to being stuck in a crawling convoy of fairground lorries, and tractors- sandwiched between the Wall of Death and a John Deere . They were on their way to a cow pie rally, which puts a totally different meaning to the name Postman Pat.

The weather was unseasonably cold, with a nasty northerly wind, so it felt very much like we were back in winter. However, very soon our eyes and nostrils were met with the most fabulous carpets of bluebells. Tucked away in the woods, providing a purply-mauve carpet of incredible depth and colour -oops going lyrical again.

We travelled through several fields, including the one where Chris did her famous running away from cows manoeuvre, and dropping her satsumas and bottled water. No livestock here today, and we journeyed on into the Betchworth area, where cow pie preparations were being made, alongside vast fields of ripening rape (try saying that if you are Jonathan Ross).

However, cows were found in the next field, and the walking pace improved as we very quickly got through the kissing-gate and into a wooded area by the river. We stopped for refreshment and a pick of wild garlic, (or ransomes), which makes wonderful soup, apparently. Talk got on to the subject of the forthcoming elections and hung parliaments. Clat said she would be happy just to see a WELL hung one - oh dear. Then Farty and T.B. told us that on their recent travels they had spotted a proper sign alerting them to a 'Dogging Park' - any suggestions?

On past the Dolphin pub, where Chris peered menacingly through the window to be met by several startled customers - we moved on. A bit of road walking followed, including Wonham Manor where the deer are, and then the river again. We meandered with it for a mile or so, before breaking out into more fields and bluebell woods.

Towards the end we saw that the fields were being seeded with bright pink corn seeds (and not drugs.) The path had been obliterated, so it was a good job us seasoned travellers knew the route. However we did meet an oddly dressed chap going in the opposite direction who had no idea where the path should be, and was last seen skirting the perimeter edges.

Our walk finished coming through the churchyard, and soon we were de-booted and in to the pub, which was lovely and warm, even the loos, which are also carpeted - luxury or what?

The pub has changed hands recently, due to kidney trouble, according to Chris. Lunch was taken and eaten, and some beer-tasting also occurred. Mon produced a large chunk of cake from nowhere, complete with musical candle, for Wind and Clat's birthdays, so 'happy to yous 'were heard. Not to be outdone, the landlady then produced a whole chocolate cake with two candles, so the process was repeated, and thus earned a 5* mark for service.

So here are the scores: Ambience - 3, Food - 3 (Wind's mary rose sauce was for her prawn jacket was too spicy, and Clat's 'spicy koftas' weren't - cos it was in wind's jacket then. The ham egg and chips expert declared them satisfactory, but the eggs were a little cold, but all is well in the world. Value - 4, Service - 5* giving a total of 15/20.

So, folks, the next walk is Tuesday 11 May, meeting at the Duke's Head, Walton Heath/Tadworth.

NEWS FROM THE COTSWOLDS BRANCH OF THE RARAS!

Find of the walks - 2 snails mating!!

Alan (Capt Provincial) proving that he does know how to walk . . showing off new boots and havng nicked my new plastic map cover

Alex the Eagle before going AWOL

Not to be outdone . . thought you might like a few words from our little jaunt to the Cotswolds to celebrate my lovely sis-in-law's Big Birthday . .

Venue (s): in and around Shipton -under-Whychwood, Oxon - true blue David Cameron country

Walkers: Mrs & Capt Provincial and brother and sis-in-law, Pete & Val

Weather: 3 days ideal - warm and sunny, 1 day dodging the showers

Distance (s) / time taken: Day 1, 2 hrs, Day 2, 5 hours (phew!), day 3, 3 hrs plus a visit to a bird of prey centre, day 4, 3 hrs. Lots of miles!

Find of the walks: 2 snails mating on the branch of a tree. Fascinating, although Val and I thought perhaps it was a bit rude to watch! I'm sure there is a joke in there somewhere . . .

It is stunningly pretty countryside, typical Cotswolds scenery, all rolling hills and mellow stone houses, chocolate box villages - and the most fantastic bird life - much excitment as we saw buzzards, red kites, a nightingale, yellow hammer to name just a few. Biggest excitment of all was when Alex the Eagle decided to go AWOL after his flying demonstration at the bird of prey centre! He took off to the trees a short distance away where he spent the next few hours annoying the local ravens who tried to pick up enough courage to dive bomb him . . one of the keepers was still trying to coax him back when we had to leave! Apparently he does it quite often, the longest he has been out for is 5 days but he eventually gives in when hunger takes over. Bluebells not quite out yet, should be beautiful in a week or so, but that's not much good as we won't be there!

We all ate and drank far too much, so just as well we did so much walking . . . looking to find an excuse to go back next year.

See you very soon!

Not so sunny Herefordshire!

Friday April 30th - Monday May 1st
Place: Brampton Abbotts near Ross-On-Wye, Herefordshire
Rahras: Farty and TB on a bit of a break in this lovely part of the country over the bank holiday weekend
Weather: Cold, cloudy with very occasional sunshine, but luckily for us rain only when we were indoors!

St Michael's Church, now closed & falling into disrepair. Here we bumped into Kate Humble and a man scurrying off for a walk, we think. She looks exactly like she does on screen apparently. I wouldn't know as I was too busy taking pictures of grave stones!

Where the bluebells were out and the calm before the storm as we approached the end of a walk before the heavens opened.
Below, Farty in the Pontificating Chair demanding more wine and holding forth!

testing testing

Monday May 3rd - went walking with my sister and my brother-in-law - Westcott walk. Bluebells are on their way, but not quite ready yet. - bit like me!

WOT ABOUT THAT THEN?!!!!!