Warnham - The Sussex Oak

Tuesday 6th March

Who Ate All the Pies?

Walkers: Farty, T.B., Windy, 8 legs, Lil and Clat

Distance: 7 1/2 miles

Find of the Walk: 0

Yes, we're back from the Hampshire coastline, which we (Lil and Clat) walked for 6 miles, and it was a good job the tide was out - need I say more? We found lots of things dangling from trees - dog muzzle, beautiful blue suede trainer, and many gloves attached to finger post footpath signs.

Right, now where were we? Funnily enough, even though we hadn't heard from the landlord in response to 'the' complaint letter, we convened and walked again. It was cold and damp and off we went west then south and came out at Warnham Manor. This is a converted residential place - - a 2 bed flat is for sale here at £481k, so that gives you an idea. It gives one a feeling of poshness about it, and even the geese , beautifully groomed and sleek, waddled about with their beaks in the air.

Not too muddy underfoot, but the wretched brambles have an annoying habit of lasso-ing your legs whenever they hear you coming - they got me in the garlics and down i went - new trousers too - criminal.

We eventually arrived at Slinfold - a pretty little village, full of Jane Austen-type houses and a real feeling of English country . The local is called The Red Lion which Wind preferred to pronounce in French - Je don't know porquoi either., so Leon Rouge it was then.

The signs of spring are becoming evident, bouncing blooms and clumps of snowdrops and tete a tete daffs. -keeping this French you see. We wandered through the churchyard and headed for Warnham once more. An un-eventful walk followed - Mon and Clat discovered the early garlic leaves and picked a goodly bunch - boy did we smell nice afterwards. On we travelled, and got back to the pub, in plenty of time to order and eat. Some of us popped into the butchers and got stuff, and then into the pub to order. It's pie week, so most of the group had one. They arrived , fat and juicy, and with a good selection of veg - excellent for just under £9.00. The loos have had a make-over, and all was well.

We spied the landlord in the background, and wondered if he would come over - he did. Before long, he told us we could order our food ahead of our arrival, and that's when Farty 'went in for the kill' !!!!!!!!!!!!! Done in a nice way, she explained what had happened to us the last time we walked from his hostelry, and he told us he didn't know about that. 'Didn't you get our letter?' asked Farty. Apparently he didn't and said that food could be ordered right up until 2.30 and he was sorry we had been put out. He then said coffees were on the house and apologised again. Enough said, so we are now back on track for the Sussex Oak.

Farty is very attached to her new maps, and after a great deal of rustling, opening, and folding, it was decided she was trying to nest in said object - well, it is Spring, after all. We origami-ed her back into shape, and readied for home. Next week, there is talk of going to Ashfold Crossways - new walk, new pub - how exciting! Details by text as usual. Better go now, as the broccoli soup is having an effect.........................................................

East Grinstead, Dunnings Mill

No words today!!

Handcross, The Red Lion/Staplefield The Victory

Bletchingley - The Prince Albert

Mud is Thicker Than Water

Tuesday 21 February - Shrove Tuesday, aka Pancake Day

Walkers: Farty, T.B., 8 Legs, Windy, Lil and Clat. Mrs P has gorn orf to s.a. to watch the beginning of an erection.

Find of the Walk: A beautiful double-headed snowdrop

Distance: 7 miles (just under)

Parked and assembled promptly, so we were off by 1035 - a record for us. We started at the churchyard, noting clumps of snowdrops and crocus, and along then down towards the old manor house that we know , in Brewer Street.

We are trekking on old and new paths today so, much map-managing was required. This meant some un-predicted hazards, mainly mud and lots of it. Any clean boots were soon ruined, as we hung on to bits of fence, bush , or people, to get across some very squidgy areas. We found quite a few bunches of ponies, looking bedraggled and fed-up in their wintry ( I wonder?) land. At one point, some very nifty double-stileing was performed as we hopped from one set to the other, without touching the ground, although Clat was having a little trouble with her trailing leg, which kept doing just that at important moments, resulting in much smearing of muck on top rails - apologies, will get my boots spring-loaded for the next walk.

The countryside round here is similar to Leigh in that you have wide open vistas the whole time, with the gentle? rumblings on the M23 in the distance - charming. We had our first break, and then set off towards some old quarry pits, and an alarming smell of gas - who ate all the beans then? Luckily, none of us, and we soon spotted day-glowed workmen and a van, from the gas board, so all is well in the world - boooooooooooooooooooom!

Up then, through Mercers Park and to the Merstham Road which was all new territory. We had to fight our way through some very odd and overgrown areas, but by keeping rigidly to the map, it does eventually make sense. One area of very tufty grass got our boots clean again, and this also housed derelict caravans, trampolenes, and dog kennels , plus the remains of a parakeet - keep moving.

Eventually we were back at Brewer Street, to complete the circle , and noting an Everton mint house on the way. Some of our group were trailing behind, and we discovered, that left to their own devices, they'd found a tree full of holes, which is now to be called the sphincter tree - you can't leave them 5 minutes can you? Oh, and they also found the beautiful snowdrop, so a bit of redeemage here.

So, time to de-boot and re-group at the pub. A very warm and friendly welcome from the landlady, and we were accommodated, and 'served' really well. The prices were low and the food was high in marks. (nearly got you there). Windy's wonderful remark re loss of ketchup was that she was out-sauced -gettit? we all did . In fact this venue is great for all of us to get to, and the walks are multiple.

 Next week Lil and Clat are by the seaside and the conducting will be performed by Farty, who was concerned she sounded a bit draconian last week re farmers. Not at all, we all don't like the ones who hide the footpath signs, and grow their crops right across our passsages -time for an oooo matron here. Our right to roam is important, but I think I've roamed on enough for one week. See you soon.xxxxxx

Betchworth - The Dolphin

Tuesday 14th February - Valentine's Day

A Bootifull Walk

Walkers: Farty, T.B., 6 Legs, Windy, Mrs Provincial, Lil and Clat

Distance: 7 miles

Find of the Walk: - Boots of course!

Well, how good was this to be assembled once again. last week's snow/ice prevented ramblings, so we were raring to go. Farty, has marked her new map, and so we followed the shape drawn on it. We set off through the churchyard where big clumps of Galanthus (snowdrops to you and me) were pushing through and braving the weather.

We traversed through some fields and then upwards past Betchworth P.O. and over the very busy A25. On t'other side we ascended towards the railway line with the odd worker dotted about, and after skirting a bit, we came to a pair of boots, plonked firmly in the middle of the road. It looked as if the owner had been rocketed out of them - but where was he? The boots were full of water, size 10, so a perfect fit for T.B. - we re-located them for his collection later on.

If we had been a bit later we would have seen this steam train making plenty of whistling and smoke as it went across our route. it was really traveling at quite a pace! (photo taken 3 days later by TB)

Clan Line steaming out of Betchworth

Another upward hill to follow, and then a few more ups and downs as we did some more skirting along the bottom (now there's a play on words) of Box Hill. We had a break overlooking the old kiln works, where a raptor or albatross (later properly identified by Mrs P as a Peregrine Falcon) was spotted wheeling around. Mrs P provided more fabulous fare - we shall miss her when she's being erected in S.A. We proceeded. The track was very slippery and snowy in parts, with trees being cleared at various intervals. We also came across another boot - this time, a child's size, 'off the peg', as it was attached to a tree - co-incidence or what?

At the next junction, we decided to 'road it' back to the A25 once more. Our intended route through a field was changed due to it looking like a lake - we haven't learned how to walk on water thus far. Next minute an ambulance came by, followed by a local farmer's wife in her 4 x 4. She stopped to tell us a walker had fallen and broken her ankle. Her kind husband had taken the ambulance crew + equipment in his equipment, and gotten them to their patient. He sounds like a very nice man. We had quite a chat - Farty told her about in-considerate farmers, so I think she got her message across.

On her advice, we took another route - found loads of gigantic dog poo, and a yellow portaloo (another bit of wordage for you) and successfully, arrived back to our pub. We realised that the place was busy due to excess of children - it's half-term - you have been told!!

A table was found - the menu was limited but we ordered. T.B. had trouble with his organiser trousers which became rather dis-organised, as he had lost 'the' voucher for this pub. He disappeared to the loo, and re-organised himself, and found his chitty - one free bottle of wine then. Being the incurable romantic that he is , he bought us all a drink - thank you T.B. we love you too.

Food was ok - nothing to write home about which is exactly what I am doing.

The pork came from dingley dell though - none of us had it.

Time for the bill, to drink up and then proceed on our merry way.

See you next week - love is in the air - don't catch cold !

Capel - The Crown Inn

A Lovely Day for a Hoar

Tuesday 17th January, 2012

Walkers: Farty, T.B., Windy, 6 of the Legs, Lil and Clat. Sally came for lunch.

Distance: 7 miles - just under

Finds of the Walk: a spectacle case, and a scarf- all within the confines of the church - a lot of losing goes on here, then.

What a crispy day. Heavy frost, but with clear blue skies and sunshine - perfect for a wintry effort in the countryside. A new walk, kindly plotted by Farty, and we set off through the churchyard, dotted with some real Edwin Drood-like graves, (plus a small brickhouse which we think is where the dead were stored), and out the back into the plentiful countryside of these parts.

Very slippy underfoot, as the ground was rock-solid, and the stiles were a bit hoary as well - we manage. Through Bennett's Wood , after which we got a bit mislaid in our routing to cross the A24. However eventually we found the track in the middle of all the over-grownness and safely over this busy road. Onwards to Weaver's Wood, Church Copse, and a footbridge, and we were then on the A29 or rather the famous Stane Street (Roman Road). Time for refreshments, and we called in at the Inn on the Green, Ockley. A lovely welcome to be had from the barmaid and the big Boxer dog - Minnie needed some encouragement here. The coffees were very tasty, and, in the absence of Chris, it seems it was Sue's job to talk to a visiting male . She learned a lot from him - does anyone else remember the days of Fine Fare?

Trouble is, we all got warm and cosy, but we had to proceed, and Farty let out a weird squeaky sound - tracked to a miniature Hoppa she had found lurking in the pub - time to go. More lovely countryside and woodland to follow. Minnie and Sue were playing cats cradle at most of the stiles, and had to be dis-entangled from their craft. We came to Vann House, which is in the Open Gardens scheme - gorgeous, and then to a converted windmill set in the middle of open fields - wonderful views to be had 360 degrees, and think of all those stairs!

The homeward stretch was upon us, and we didn't waste time in the car park changing out of our boots. Inside the pub we found Sally, and the new staff as the pub has changed hands. We admired the blackboard menu only to be told that it was the 'evening' one. The daytime one was very reduced, and very chippy. In fact, the smell of frying chips lingered - but we ordered our fare. It arrived - 'very chippy', and very dry in many cases. We were not overly-impressed - sorry to say, and whoever is running this pub is missing a real trick. It's the only pub in the village, and is just begging to have a better menu. This place is a goldmine waiting to happen..............................

Right, that's the meal over with. Next week we MIGHT be going to the Dolphin at Betchworth, but please wait for the usual text.

Bad news: Farty has mislaid her map-holder, complete with maps and a compass. The pub has been phoned, Clat has been back for a look-round, but to no avail. What a shame - the complete walking history has gone - so we shall have to start another one!

See you next week. xxxxxx

Walton on the Heath - The Duke's Head

Tuesday 10th January 2012

And They're Off!!!

Walkers: T.B., Farty, Windy, Mrs P., 8 Legs, Clat and Lil

Find of the Walk: A large stick insect and some rather unsavoury track-suit bottoms.

Distance: 7 miles

Well, our first walk of the year - we are ready for action, especially as last week was cancelled due to heavy rain and high winds or vice-versa. The weather was the expected claggy January miserableness, but we were on top form. Off we go then.

Over the common, and past the rare Bum Bagel Birch tree, we arrived at Walton on the Hill and the duckpond. We continued, past the Bell p.h. and into some lovely woodland - lots of holly bushes laden with berries very evident. We then noticed the excellent views across country, towards London - bathed in sunshine, but we never were. The other view was towards the grandstands at Epsom racecourse, one of which had lost a section of roof last week - a very big wind then. Travelling along, we came across the stick insect, magnificent in his surroundings, and poised, ready for action.

Soon we came to our first break, and the Mrs P muesli bars were more delicious than ever - mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. We decided it was about time we up-dated our group photo, and T.B. duly loaded his equipment in such a way, as to fit us all in. So, after a lot of posing and flashing, we finally got a few shots, but more was to follow......

We were on the edges of Epsom racecourse, but veered away, towards Headley and the Cock (this is a pub for you who are already sniggering). Another possibility of a group photo occurred, and once again T.B. got his gear out. This time, a passing runner offered to snap us, she did, told us it was a good shot, and ran off. Later, we discovered that her 'good shot' was a blank screen with a few whisps of grass at the side - what on earth was that woman on???

We had already dipped under the M25, and did it once more before heading 'home' via the butchers - 'eatmymeat.com' and Farty decided to buy steak to cook in the Heston way.

Back at the pub we found the place was packed, but soon emptied once we arrived. The staff were as friendly and welcoming as ever and we soon settled ourselves and compared notes on everything you can imagine. The food - excellent, and it was great to see Wendy the lovely landlady once again. It's been far too long since our last visit, but it was all as to be expected, and we enjoyed our meals. Sue produced a quiz from the Daily Mail, which, like Clat's similar one , proved to be tricky to navigate, and was soon binned. Lil did a couple from 'the book' and we realised Mrs P is a very clever lady.

 So, we then made our farewells, and readied for home. Next week is a t.b.a., but we are hoping Sally might venture forth and do a bit of walking with us. We shall keep you posted.