Ashfold Crossways - The Wheatsheaf

Tuesday 13th March

If I Could Talk To The Animals.........

Walkers: Farty, T.B., 8 Legs, Windy, Lil, Clat, and La Belle Jane - freshly flown in from La Belle France , so LBJ for short.

Sally joined us for lunch , with her bad back - oucccchhhh - we've all been there

She wishes it to be known that she is the odd flying hostess - not retired.

Distance: 7 1/2 miles

Find: La Belle Zero

Well this was a find - a pub in the middle of nowhere, nestled in the crossroads, and what an amazing place - more later. So obscured was it, that Windy managed to shoot past several times, and, well on her way to Mannings Heath, was getting seriously de-ranged, and so were we, cos our 'phones were too and no signal to try and get her back again. However, just as we were beginning to think she wasn't going to get to us, she did - relief all round . We commenced a little retard but theees 'appens.A lovely walk, with so much variation. Woods, fields, flat plains, hills, dales, and views.

Very soon on we reached a trickling stream with ponds full of frogs and spawn. Later we found deer, chickens, peacocks, pheasants, pigs, piglets, llamas, a parrot (in the pub), and a frolicking horse who took a shine to Mon, galloped over, and promptly dumped its load - is this a sign of affection from the equestrian side?

We wiggled about a bit, and came to Cartersledge Lane, and voyaged northwards, where we ooooo-ed and aaaaaaaa-ed over the piglets. These little crackling jobs were hurtling round, screeching ,squeaking and thoroughly enjoying themselves with their porkulent parents looking on. We discussed the Crufts dog show, and had to explain to Windy that a Pomeranian is not a type of apple - it gets worse.

Upwards now to the top of Colgate Hill (show us your teeth, Poppy) - marvellous. We turned our corner at this point and headed back through part of the Greenslade Wood. The sun came out, transforming the landscape, and items of clothing were removed. Open footpaths followed, with the most beautiful blue of a sky. Next came some hard uphill climbing, and a bit of panting - we were now well on the High Weald Landscape Trail. Several signs telling us to Beware of the Bull were fruitless I am pleased to report.

So then it was time to re-tread our earlier steps and return to the Wheatsheaf. This place is something else - an emporium of a pub, with knick-knacks, ornaments, and objects galore, and of course the parrot, who was busy roaming around outside her cage.

The service was great, the food even greater, and the prices were very acceptable. They like racing here, so we had Cheltenham blaring away in the background. Afterwards, Sue produced UNO - a card game, and Lil/Clat showed her and some others, how to play. The fundamentals were learnt and more games will be played in the future. Time for a quiz. This is where Windy de-ranged again - Bagpuss is not the son of Macbeth - see what we are dealing with here?!!

Time was pressing on - we paid the bill and left.

Next week - the walk will be decided between Windy and 8 Legs, cos Farty, T.B., Lil and Clat will be missing. Enjoy the weather - keep an eye on your hosepipes ladies.