Reigate Hill - 3

  Q - Where is Uranus? A - Great Yarmouth

Tuesday 12 April

Walkers: Farty, T.B., Windy, Trish, 2 Legs, Hoots, Lil and Clat.

Distance : 6 1/2 miles

Find of the walk: the same pair of underpants, lasting well in the elements, and thus a good advert for M & S.

Beautiful weather - forecast of rain incorrect (again). Reigate Hill was very busy - after all, the school holidays have started, and the little darlings are to be spotted in abundance. We set off in good time although the two gazelles were left to purchase coffees, but with their speed, they caught up with us soon after.

Magnificent views today - you could see forever, as the song goes, and the feel-good factor soon kicked in. Talking of which we noticed 2 legs do a quick veer and noticed a few hefty cattle plodding about - she doesn't do cows. Our walk today was designed to be mainly on the flat, and to take in the gorgeous spring flowers, which were gorgeous. A new routing took us past some rather large houses with cracking views, and huge drifts of daffodils in the gardens. Children everywhere, so we dodged Thelwell ponies, and crash-helmeted little people, thundering along on their bicycles.

Over the ever-fast and noisy M25 and towards Walton Heath and its golfcourse. Lots of players out today - recovering, no doubt, from the latest U.S. fest in Georgia. We obediently stood and waited to be waved through the fairways, (as the bishop said to the actress), and headed on our return track through Margery Wood (you know the joke). Once more over the motorway, dear friends, and then a near-miss with a tadpole on a bicycle. T.B. was heard to say ' a bell would be a good idea', and the tadpole told us he didn't need one, plus a few other unsavoury and in-audible words. T.B. , not to be harrassed by such behaviour, told us he would no doubt meet the tadpole in the car park - fair warning then, you young frog.

Back once more at said car park, we noticed a few policemen, partaking of refreshments, the view, and the sunshine, plus all sorts of doggies ready for action. Hoots had to leave us - she is de-cluttering, as the move is progressing. A cow has fallen into the cess pit of the place she is hoping to buy - she has a lot to deal with. So, after a quick stretch or three, it was time to make haste to the Sportsman for lunch.

The Sportsman Mogador

We arrived to find the place very busy - not surprising, given the weather and all. However, 2 legs found us a good table and we settled, and we settled, and we settled. This should give you an idea of the long wait we had from ordering, to food arriving. Farty had an appt. to keep, and after 45mins and a gentle prompt to the waitress, we were told our order had gone astray in their electronic system, and apologies, and, the chef would be out to talk to us - he never appeared. The situation didn't improve even though the place was emptying of clientele, so we did the quiz to bide our time. Tongues were loosened, and some confusing answers were given - hence today's title. The answer to alabaster is gypsum.

Well, scores low today. No service recovery offered, and we didn't like to order coffees as we would have been there all evening. Once the food arrived, most of us were dis-appointed with our dishes . The service industry needs a good shake-up. Here are the marks: Food - 2.5, Ambulance - 4 (but that's mainly down to us lot), Value - 3, Service 2.5 - total of 12/20 - we shall not be rushing back.

But you will be! Next week is The Red Lion at Bletchingley and we shall see what we can find there. xx