All Gas and Gaiters Tuesday 18th January 2011
Walkers: Farty, T.B., Windy, Mrs Provincial, Polly Possibly - now Polly Presently as she appeared!!!! , Lil, and Clat. 'Kneedless' to say Sue was seeing a specialist, so no canines today. Chris, Registrara, Hoots and Sally also in absentia - wherever that is.
Find of the Walk: A black Dunlop golfing umbrella - beautifully modelled by Token Beckham
Distance: a whopping 8 and 3/4 miles - i can hear the groans now!We finally met-up after a bit of confusion in Forest Row, as parking spaces were difficult to find, especially ones without time restrictions. Matters were not helped by seeing two coppers busily noting down car registrations in these areas - getting ready for a booking fest later on. However, we did manage to find a free park, and we got going a bit later than usual, at 1100.
So lucky with the weather - it was clear and sunny today, after weeks of rain, and very welcome it was too. The birds were singing - marvellous.
Our route took us northwards through a veterinary centre - where was T.B.'s badge? We were then on the Vanguard Way, which had been hollowed out by the torrential rain, and was like climbing up through a stream. Farty said it was like being a salmon fighting its way up-river to spawn - she watches a lot of nature programmes. We can now substitute Forest Row for Forest Roe - ha ha ha.
No major slippages occurred, but the warmth of the day meant that layers were removed before proceeding upwards. We trundled on through wooded areas and made a right turn into Cansiron Lane which is also the Vanguard Way. This is worth giving a google, as it's history is quite fascinating , and gave a bit of light relief for our boots before we were once more in wet areas - this time across a field. The reward for us was the fantastic views - almost 360 degrees - of wonderful English countryside.
We stopped here for a break, wonderful flapjacks from Mrs P., and the gaiter conversation ensued. Father Christmas has been busy and provided Windy and Mrs P with said garments. We then discussed which way round they should be worn. Windy explained that she had had a leaflet and followed the instructions, which means Clat has been wearing hers back-to-front forever. Windy also confessed to some baginess in this area, so we solved the problem and deflated her legs. Farty broke out with a rendition of Baggy Gaiters which was her homage to Madness - don't go there folks!
We commenced a downwards traverse past a little pond, and on through some woodland - this will be fabulous in the Spring. Fields and hedgerows were taken in our stride, and we came to another pond/lake which was a fishery, complete with caravans round the edge - this was heaven for Clat, who is a 'caravanette', and can become quite an anorak on the subject. Here, we got lost. Then we lost T.B., who had had a boot malfunction - and you don't want mud down your socks where he is concerned either. He caught up with us, and we came to a very different style of stile, as it had a gate on the top - no idea what that was all about.
Eventually we got to the lower slopes, and crossed bridges over very flooded rivers and streams - one was performing an Oxbow effect according to Farty- who is still watching a lot of nature programmes. Finally, we got to the long, straight, and dry track which used to be an old railway line, and is now called the Forest Way. The pace picked up, and we passed the odd cyclist, runner, and even odder men. We noted a fenced-off area containing chickens and mountain goats, or rather, mounting goats judging by what they were up to. The blokey one was sporting a matching pair of wristbands - obviously to keep his strength up - matron. 
Nearing the finish now, and a wonderful dead tree came into view, but no photos by T.B., as Farty says she thinks he has grown out of the habit, if you'll pardon the pun. The car park was a welcome sight for our weary legs, and after much brushing and rubbing-down, we got to the pub. A very happy Italian landlord in residence, and we soon had our drinks but the food took considerably longer - deduct a point. The ciabatta bread was not toasted - deduct another point - score is 18/20. The temperature could have been a little warmer as Mrs P will testify as she sat with her coat and gloves on - think we need to deduct another point - final score 17/20.
The next walk on Tuesday 25th will be texted to you. Sadly , Mrs P will not be among us for a while as she is heading off to the Sarth to supervise an erection.
We wish her luck.
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