Dormansland - The Plough

Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head - And Everywhere Else Too!

Tuesday 15th February
Walkers: Farty, T.B., Windy, Lil and Clat. Everyone else is otherwise engaged. T.B. had a 'bloody' bump on his head, which he blamed on abusive treatment from Farty. Actually, he had caught it on a cupboard, but it looked pretty impressive.

Find of the Walk: - We found we got rather wet!

Distance: 6 miles - this took 2 1/2 hrs due to the very heavy going in the mud.

Yes folks, it turned into a wetter day than forecast, and so the going was rough, and cumbersome. But first, a cautionary tale:

Last week Registrara was complaining of a headache, and was not feeling that wonderful. She has been having problems with her boiler, so had to leave to meet the plumber. To cut a long story short, she ended up in Casualty the next day with carbon monoxide poisoning, and was on oxygen for 4hrs. The signs and symptoms can creep up on you, and because you start to feel so out of things, you don't realise what is happening. So, a carbon monoxide detector is the right way to go ( and a 'Gas Safe plumber') (in fact, on tonight's Eastenders Heather is about to succumb to this gas too). The detector needs to be sited quite high up in the room, as this gas is lighter than air, so well -worth buying one. Right then, back to the walk.

After we had met up, the weather started to deteriorate, but we thought it best to carry on and see how things go. Up the lane and past Greathed Manor( a residential old people's home), some lovely Aberdeen Anguses in a field, and then along by the side of Tobias and the Angel - see previous blog. It was very muddy and squelchy and we slipped and slided our way towards a junction, and another path even muddier, and very narrow. Conversation is kept at a minimum during these times, as we concentrate on our footage, and wonder who will be the first to fall.

We eventually came to a road, crossed over, and trekked across a sticky field - 'just like the Somme' remarked our Lil. Once unstuck we found a lane, and made our way towards Starborough Castle, which still has its narrowboat in the moat. More fields, more rain and mud, and we came to a big duck pond.

Next, we walked through Memorial Wood, over another road (sign post welcoming us to Kent close by), and then into a spooky wood - very dark and dense with so many trees. We found a boomerang/ambush tree - bent right over in catapult style, and it was here that Wind mentioned a programme she had watched the night before , about a woman who has 100 orgasms a day. The song 'She was born with a smile on her face' comes to mind, and we couldn't decide if we felt happy or sorry for this female sex machine.

The rain got heavier and wetter - we decided to re-route and get back to the pub! A good idea, as most of the walking was now on tracks and lanes. We found a lovely derelict little cottage, and had a good poke about. Such a shame, for it to be left to crumble, 'cos it could have been superb, with wonderful views, too.

So, we and Wind, wended our way homewards and got to the pub, where the kindly landlord had set a table aside for us, right by a roaring log fire - perfect for drying out and getting warm once again.

Two menus run side-by-side here - English and Thai, with their own staff to go with them. We all chose to be English, and had some excellent fare. The prices were good, and so was the service. Clat decided that the loos were rather cold, even though they were decked out with black sparkly toilet seats and a bit of a shoe fetish going on, judging by the amount of pictures and ornaments. In the men's however, the walls were bedecked with political literature - which explains why T.B. spent such a long time in there. 19/20 a very good mark.

Next walk - Tuesday 22 February -venue will be notified.

Betchworth - The Dolphin

The Hills Are Alive - With The Sound Of Groaning

Tuesday 8th Feb:


Walkers: Farty, T.B., Lil, Registrara, Clat.

No-one else could make it, for various reasons, so we shall catch up eventually! This also explains change of venue.



Find of the Walk: a set of number plates from a volkswagen garage



Distance: 7 1/2 miles - would have been longer, on the flat, but we had some very steep hills to climb.
The weather was stonking today - beautiful blue, crisp and clear skies, sunshine, and no wind - perfect. Farty was sporting her Arafat style scarf, which she had rescued from a skip, and T.B. was wearing a black corduroy hat - very nifty. He told us he was in a snap-happy mood, and lived up to the promise, so you should get loads of pics today.

We set off at 10.30!! - a record. Through the grounds of St Michaels church (featured in 4 weddings & a funeral), where we saw our first clump of snowdrops - gorgeous. Heading west we came to the river mole, and found more snowdrops, and other blossoms sprouting forth to greet the Spring. Northwards now, and past an octagonal-shaped aviary full of budgerigars and finches, who were enjoying the sunshine.



Further along, we came to the Reigate Road, safely crossed it, and found ourselves in a field full of slurry. You can imagine the smell - a good vintage, we thought, and quite a recent one too - the pace quickened at this point. At the railway line, we turned and eventually went underneath the tracks, towards our first bit of a climb.

Lime Works with scaffold

Full of trepidation, but nothing to worry about, as the climb was a gentle one. We arrived at the Brockham Lime Works, and could see evidence of the dis-used workings, the kilns, the workers cottages, and even a well. The previous slices into the hills had left huge white chards of chalk, visible for miles, and a reminder of times gone by. We stopped for a break, and Lil noted that a part of the quarry was now being used by scramblers - bikes not eggs.

Onwards and upwards we went, through the trees and on the Pilgrims Way. We had better views of the quarry, and fabulous views across the valley towards the south. Further along, we found a large gravestone, dedicated to 'Quick' who had been a favoured thoroughbred horse. He'd only lived for 8 years, which is young. He died in 1944 - a war-horse maybe?

Here, we also found a lone male walker, also sporting an arafat scarf - is this some secret sect Farty has become a member of? did she drop her scarf, and he had picked it up? we shall never know.

By the way, Anonymous (from last week's blog), is none other than T.B. himself - puzzle solved.

Downwards now, through Poors Field - a dreadful track - narrow, gully-style, and slippery. Kemps Farm next, and eventually under the railway track once more. A little bit of confusion here, which meant we were on the wrong side of the fence - we've done this before, folks. We found a gap in the wiring and clambered over.



Some beautiful countryside followed - an un-tapped goldmine for those of us who walk here regularly, and wooded areas choc-full of snowdrops - marvellous. A nearly-missed cut through, by some houses brought us out onto the road, and eventually the pub - home at last!


The pub has recently re-opened after its make-over, and very good too. A lot of the originality has been retained - open fires, wooden floors, and the old furniture, but with a newer, posher-looking restaurant. The marks are: Service - 5, Ambulance - 5, Value - 5, Food - 4. One point lost for providing the wrong sauce with the squid and whitebait. 19/20 -very good.

We shall be walking next Tuesday 15th February - so Happy Valentine's for the day before.

The venue will be Dormansland

Epsom Downs - The Beefeater

Mincing round the Downs

Wednesday 2 February - Groundhog Day, U.S.A.

Walkers: Farty, Lil and Clat. No-one else could make it, so we moved the venue, to something closer to home.
Find of the Walk: a high visibility vest (no piccie but we did find one!)
Distance: 10 1/2 miles - honest.
Last week's distance has been queried by 'Anonymous' - who are you?!! Our mileage could not be accurately assessed due to pedometers being u/s.
Weather: grey, drab, dull - yuk.

We met on time, soon booted, and Farty looked resplendent in her new gaiters , made from the sleeves of the found fleece, a few walks back. You will see them in the road sign picture - with any luck.

Across the Downs we went, and boy, was it windy. Nothing like the cyclone expected for the poor folk of Oz, but it was a good try. Ears had to be wrapped up and lips too, for the time being.

A pleasant surprise to discover the walking signs have been updated and replaced, so we followed our clearly marked route downhill, and up again. More pleasant surprises as the horrid, narrow little path has been widened, levelled and gravelled. The mincing, however, was caused by an implement, attached to a tractor, which ravages the hedges, and spits them out - all over the footpaths. The cuprit was in sight, and in action, but we needed to trek elsewhere, and Clat spied a gorgeous little caravan, all on its lonesome, so that diverted her attention.

A little further on, and we were under the M25, through the chestnut woods ,where we saw three deer. Headley church looked as if it was on fire, due to an over-zealous pyromaniac and his bonfire, but we pressed on and out, and emerged at Headley post office. The tea shoppe is closed during the winter months , so ideas of a hot coffee went out the window. We had a quick break here, and commented on the perils of sitting on cold seats, and acquiring piles - don't go there.

This is big horse country, and we saw some magnificent specimens, and passed studs and things to keep them looking splendiferous. We emerged onto a narrow road, with very fast cars whipping along, so, instead of doing a short trek uphill, we took a different road, which was level, and wound round corners. First we found a discarded road sign , then we found a skin - couldn't really identify which animal, but it hadn't long ago been removed from its poor unfortunate owner. We got down to goat or badger -and moved it to the kerb side.

Our turning right took us up such a steep hill (Windy you would have loved this - not), that we had to proceed slowly and steadily, until we reached the summit, and our direction for home.

Quite a bit of roadage, and we were back in Headley, following a track which Farty recognised. She fell over here a year or so back, whilst performing a manoeuvre, and hurt her shoulder for months. Luckily she didn't repeat the experience, and we did some more roadage before the final path came into view. She did, however, manage to find the odd chicken coop or two, and identified each and every breed she saw.

By this time the drizzle had arrived, and, mixed with the heavy winds, meant we got quite wet. We were laden down with hazel sticks, for Clat's allotment, and this will be an ongoing exercise, as she has a lot of staking to do.

So, sticks loaded, limbs stretched and rubbed, we headed into the Beefeater, which has undergone a complete re-furb, and the results are good. Friendly staff, nice and quiet after the pensioners' lunch-time rush, and just the sort of things on the menu to satisfy our tums. Full marks.

The maps were out, and next TUESDAY 8th we shall be walking as usual. The venue is The Plough at Dormansland .
See you, or some of you? next week then .