Bletchingley II - The Whyte Harte again

When The Chips Are Down - Try Some Cock Soup

Tuesday 24th August
Walkers: Farty, T.B., Windy, 12 Legs, Registrara, Clat - no sign of Mrs Provincial, who may have overdone the grape juice - we wait in hope!

No Find of the Walk but the word of the day was Androgynous.

Weather: rather lovely, sunshine and blue skies, the first for many days, and quite warm.

Distance: only 6 miles and talk of lunch started before we even set off!

We met a little earlier than our start time of 1030, to partake in a caffeine hit and a clothing swap-shop. Please bring unwanted items before giving them to charity - it amuses the hotel staff to see us trying the stuff on. An exchange of jellies and jams also took place, as well as various fruits ready to be turned into the latter.
Chris arrived waving a banner headline in her hand from her local press 'Rogue Cow in Walker Attack' - trust her to find it. Apparently a rather stroppy Charolais had charged and head-butted the unfortunate victim, leaving her shaken and bruised with a sprained ankle. She was saved by two passing cyclists but a local expert stated that this was a very rare event - but obviously not impossible. Watch out for charging Charolais then - and learn the words to 'Mooooove Over'.

We eventually set off, and within yards, Windy had donned some more disguise, which she modelled Norah Batty style in front of someone's door. The owner of which was no doubt hiding, in case they had a 'stray' from the local home on her doorstep. The bright pink hairnet ensemble was then passed on to the dogs, so we now had Minnie Caldwell, and Josephine Sharples.

On to the Greensand Way we went and came to a pond with four legs sticking up. Quickly establishing it wasn't a Charolais, it was identified as a Chippendale with Cabriole legs - a very rare breed indeed.

The path climbed upwards to Gravelhill Wood ,past some disused workings, but not much in the way of markings. Once at the top though, some lovely vistas to be had. The compasses came into action, and we found the GSW again and carried on. Blackberries are in plentiful supply this year, and big ones too - so we had a bit of a pick.

Some more bad signage meant we missed Prickloves Farm (tee hee), and walked past Coldharbour Farm instead, and arrived at a perfect replica of Teletubby Land, as a lovely , green and domed hill appeared - who's going to be Dipsy then? - no comment. We headed downwards, levelled out and crossed the M23.

At Kentwyns, we started our return - and went uphill again, and came to a very weird and creepy big house. Left to rack and ruin, faded curtains at the windows, lots of abandoned cars outside, and a very still and murky atmosphere. We may have lingered a little longer, but a huge Rottweiler appeared (untethered), and knowing what big teeth they have, we quickened our pace and got back to the M23.

Here ,we re-traced some of last week's steps and upwards again past Castle Place (flats for sale at a mere 500k each - i don't think so). Because of Farty and Clat's frequent berry stops, the rest of the group went back by the shorter route, but, determined to do the marked version, F and C arrived a few moments after the others.

The Whyte Harte Food was ordered, and despite being told that the fabulous chips of last week, were 'on' , they were most definitely 'off'. The pie of the day not so good this time, and the veg was cold. No jug of water, drinks order incorrect - oh dear me. (a week is a long time in... Piccie editor)

T.B. came up with the alternative - 'Cock flavour soup' - available from Wing Yip, so there's the answer to everything.!!

So, next Tuesday 31st August it will be Bletchingley again - a Rupert the Bear shaped walk - see you there.

Beaucoup du vin en la belle France!

Venue: Polly Possibly-Not's maison de vacance in la belle France - Tardiveau in the Charente region (see below left)

Non-walkers: Polly Possibly-Not, Fifi la Carr, Mrs Provincial (being even more provincial in this French backwater) and our friend, Fat Pammy (as you can see from the photos, she only weighs about 7 stone . . it's just not fair!)

Wot, no wine? that was a mistake which was soon rectified!

Weather: Pretty stunning, and hotter each day

Distance: just a few steps each day from house to poolside to bar to restaurant back to bar and back home again to wine supplies -oh, and a little walk around the beautiful chateau at Verteuil! And because we felt so guilty a little walk down to the river and around Polly's village on the day we came home.

Time taken: 5 days - heaven help my liver

Find of the week: A gorgeous lost doggie. Came wandering up to us while we were sitting in a bar (where else?) in a pretty village and we were fairly sure that he was either lost or dumped. We got some water for him as he was very thirsty and made enquiries as to whether anyone knew anthing about him, but no luck. The local Mairie is responsible for lost dogs but is on holiday in August (no handy RSPCA or local animal rescue - bloody French!), so we decided to do a supermarket dash for food, which we duly fed him - he was really hungry. After much soul searching we made the decision to leave him but go back the next day to see if he was still around, in which case we would have taken him. However, the next day he was nowhere to be seen, so all we can hope is that he was either reunitied with his owners, or some other kind soul took pity on him. Fee has flown back to France today as they are spending a week working on their house, so will also spend the time trying to track him down. Just hope he's OK, poor thing.

Pluses: Great girlie company -no men, sorry TB!, weather, venue, scenery, wine, food including brilliant local cheeses, value - wine at 1.79 Eur a bottle, what more can a girl ask for?

Minuses: Flying Ryanair - an experience not be repeated in a hurry . .

I hope to have recovered enough by next week to join you all again . . .

Bletchingley - The Whyte Harte Hotel

Rising Damp

Tuesday 17th August
Walkers: Farty, T.B., Windy, 10 Legs, Clat. Trish is being sober in la belle France (oo- la- liar), and Chris is backing some hosses in York. Others, will hopefully be joining us again, soon.
Distance: only 6 1/4 miles
Weather: yuk - a slow, relentless drizzle, heavy cloud in parts, yet elsewhere, apparently, it was sunny and rather glorious - just us, then.
No find of the walk
This hotel is very welcoming and the staff attentive and friendly. Parking is no problem, and if you get there before the 1030 meet time, you can get yourself a goodly cup of coffee. Bletchingley is steeped in history, and it's easy to imagine the olden days of coaches and horses, creased crinolines, and push-up frocks - 'unhand me young man', and 'is that a musket in your breeches, squire, or are you just pleased to see me?' and so ons. The main road goes right through the middle which leads us to believe this was a major coaching stop - now replaced by diesel buses.

hollow way

So, after a caffeine injection, we set off across the road and through the grounds of the church - St Mary the Virgin - built in the 10 hundreds - a Norman construction, and Desmond Tutu was a curate here in 1965-67 - now look where he is! Outside, the building is adorned with gargoyles - not the sort you sling down your throat either.


Farty led , and we walked down a 'hollow way' - apparently these tracks were on level ground at one point, but over the years of droving livestock, these paths have sunk and become lower than the ground - well fancy that. We came across a lovely house, The Rectory, which has been used for programmes such as Emma and Sense and Sensibility, and then a school called The Hawthorns which takes children from 2 !!!!!! to 13.

There are some truly wonderful views and vistas on this walk. Many of the crops have now been harvested, and we noted large numbers of birds wheeling around the trees at the edge of the fields - so where was Alfred Hitchcock then?

We then came to a pub The Inn on the Pond - another coffee stop!!!! Sue went off to get one and we sat outside - in the drizzle. Clat passed round her fave m&s cakes - mini lemon and white chocolate -chip muffins - try saying that, after a few, and we noticed the hundreds of fag-ends on the floor - what a shame. Farty tells us it's much nicer inside, but they really need to clean up their act out here.

Some joker had switched the bridleway and footpath signs, so from the pub we went the wrong way. T.B. and his compass ( which has now developed an air bubble, and we hope it isn't terminal), sorted us out, and a slight retracement occurred. Back on track then, but really, the signs round here are in a bad state of repair, so frequent stops were made. At one point, the drizzle got so bad that Sue donned her running poncho, which is basically bright orange plastic - and once the wind got underneath, we had a human satsuma in our midst. Clat then had a huge erection, caused by her map-holder rearing up, and staying up , for quite a chunk of the walk , so we had a sex pest as well.

Some woodland to walk through, and then, alongside the M23 - the noise of which Wind and Sue tried to transform into the sounds of the sea - tsunami more like. Loads of blackberries by the way, so picking is about to commence, and seeing as Clat now has a constipated kitchen - stuff straining all over the place - fruit is very welcome. Next, under the motorway we went - a very long, and very dark tunnel. Thank goodness for Farty's torch, as it really was pitch black in there, and we didn't want to trip over a vagrant or two, but the place was very clean and urine-free - for a change.

Nearing the end of our travails (cut short due to weather), we came to a narrow path, full of cow ****. It seems that, at some point, the nearby bovines had gone down this path by mistake, got stuck, and performed their own version of ' up **** creek' - literally, and we had to walk in it.
Nearby, at the end of this walk is The Robert Denholm House (Capenor)  ), built of brick in 1887, for James Hudson the owner of "Hudson's Soap" , along with the Lodge, The Stables and Coach House, and the Baliff's House. Mr Hudson owned a sand mine on the property in 1896 . Capenor has had a number of occupants, members of Thomas Cook's family, the German banker W.Brandt, and for many years it was the headquarters of a religious society which distributed Sunday School literature.

The main house has 38 rooms and still looks much as it was. It contains much decorative ironwork, coloured glass and moulded ceilings. The south elevation is very impressive with its fine terrace which now overlooks the northern lanes of the M23. It is now divided into offices and a conference center (courtesy of 'granarytour) and known as Castle Place


Then hey presto we were back to the hotel, and in reasonable time before food stops at 2.30. T.B. then transformed himself, and emerged from the back of his car looking something like James May from Top Gear - wot is it with us lot, and wigs?

Sue said this walk was ' top of her list', and other things, like 'I'm ready for something massive' and 'I just love the smell of wet dog' - time to sit down, then. The service, food, and attention was excellent - in fact, full marks all round - a cracking 20 . Clat's turn for the famous ham, egg and chips, and what chips they were too. Home-made meat pies, and butter fish, were also to be had, and generous helpings too. Wind got rather alarmed as a big damp patch appeared on her trousers. Thinking that poor Minnie might have become in-continent, she was checked over and found not to be the culprit. There was also a pool of water by Wind's leg - she must be leaking then, or was something bubbling up from below?

We might find out next week, as we have unanimously decided to meet here again , so next walk, Tuesday 24th August, at the Whyte Harte . Farewell me muckers.

The Bull, Limpsfield (missing photos)

OOOps - so sorry, thought had the photo uploading thing sorted OK - obviously not as managed to leave the most important photos of all out of the blog!

So, with more apologies, herewith the photos of our teenage tearaway trying out a few new hairstyles. Must have been copying Auntie Chris and Miss BUA.

xxxx

Limpsfield - the Bull

A discombobu - belated birthday walk!

Venue: The Bull, Limpsfield village

Walkers: Farty, Clatters, 12 legs, Windy Nohills and Mrs Provincial. TB (allegedly) playing with his balls

Weather: Better than the day before! Warm, cloudy but most importantly, dry

Distance: Just a smidgeon short of 6 miles

Time taken: 2.40 hrs

Find of the walk - sadly, a dead mouse and the decomposing remains of a badger

This walk was convened at the last minute to replace the rained off one on Tuesday - so considering the short notice, a pretty good turn out. We met at 12.30 at the Bull and started with a light lunch and just the odd glass of wine to toast 10 legs's birthday on Monday. The pub scored highly - a total of 18 as the food, value and ambiance was good and the service exceptional. A lovely young waitress who couldn't have been more attentive, and she even brought a bowl of water for the doggies without being asked. Having all had a try-on of Mrs P's cast-off clothes that were heading for the charity shop, we then got booted and spurred in the car park ready for the off. At that point Miss BUA circa 1965 suddenly joined the group - had she been invited? Did we know her? Did we want to know her? And then we realised it was Miss Nohills in disguise, not content with being blond chav / trailer trash a few weeks ago, decided to reinvent herself in a more lady-like fashion! Much hilarity all round, particularly when our Chris decided to do her best Cossack dancer impression!

Having composed ourselves (sort of) we then headed off for Titsey Estate, crossing under the M25 on the way. Clatters kept us all alert with her Christmas themed quizz (14 weeks only apparently until the dreaded - aaarrrggghhh!) - we sort of passed with a few handy clues from the quizz master! We stopped by the tea rooms and helped ourselves to some of the lovely free veg from the kitchen garden - the Emery clan sampled the beans tonight and they were given the thumbs up!

We took the 4 mile Titsey circular walk which lead us up another north face of the Eiger - Windy Nohills is obviously getting used to this as not a peep was heard out of her - probably too puffed to speak! There are some fabulous views from the top of the ridge which we stopped to admire (and take the odd mobile phone call, sorry!).

Minnie was definitely in 'going awol' mode today - we think she is suddenly hitting those teenage years, straining at the leash and taking off all over the place, following goodness knows what scents! Poor birthday gal spent alot of the walk trying to call her back - of course, one word from Sue and Minnie did exactly what Minnie wanted to do! We met a number of other dogs on the walk as well, all friendly and well behaved and all interested in our lovely girls.

The plan was to stop at Titsey tea rooms on the way back, but we decided that as time was marching on (just like us!) that we'd head back to the pub and try to grab a cuppa in the village. Unbelievably for such a picturesque place, there were no tea rooms , so we ended up back in the car park where yours truly, aka Mrs P, produced some chocolate cupcakes from the back of the car. They seemed to go down well, just hope you girlies have all got over the food poisoning by now! As you can see from the photo, our Josephine was quite exhaused after such an action packed day!

I think everyone knows the venue next week, but apologies for absence in advance as this particular blogger will be away, as will Chris. (As I'll be in France eating snails with Polly Possibly Not/Polly-esta, you may even get a blog en francais - oh no, I hear you groan!)

Have a good one and see you in a couple of weeks - a bientot! xxxxxxxxxx

London, Song Que:

A long way for lunch or what we did instead of a cancelled walk on a wet day!


Tuesday 10th August: dawned wet & horrible so as walk cancelled this is what we tried to do:
Hopped on a train & hooked up with the new London Overground train line to Hoxton which took about 40minutes.
Around the corner from the station was this lovely Vietnamese restaurant Song Que where our starter was prawn rolls. Apart from us there were other 'older' brit-types in this lively place with quick service & great food. Check out the link!

Prawn rolls

On to Abney Cemetery further up the road and as soon as we entered this wonderful place the heavens opened . After half an hour we'd had enough, but here are some piccies anyway:

Cancelled poem

What a difference a day makes
Tuesday 10th August - walk cancelled, due to rain and more , on the way. Yesterday it was fab, and I expect tomorrow will be fine - c'est la vie - comme ci, comme ca, comme tra -la- la


Oh what a bummer
Oh what a shame
The walk's been cancelled
Because of the rain

The forecaster said
'If you go out today
No sun in the sky
Just wetness all day'

So stand down your ruck-sacks
The compass and maps
And a walk next Tuesday
Maybe, perhaps

We shall stride out once more
Catch up with the news
On with the boots
And off with the shoes

So we are sorry to Sue
To delay the event
Of your own birthday walk
Which isn't in Kent!


See you next Tuesday, 17th in Bletchingley - I have a quiz! Hope you did Mrs P's rock 'n roll one - compare results next week. xxx

East Grinstead, The Old Mill

Tracks , Cracks and Anoraks

Tuesday: 3rd August

Venue: The Old Mill at Dunnings

Walkers: Farty, T.T.T.B ( i shall explain later), Windy, Mrs Provincial, 12 Legs, Clatchat

Finds of the walk: - typical! just like buses - you don't see one for ages, then 6 come along at once. - 2 golf balls, 2 tee shirts, 1 baseball cap, 1 pair of plimsolls.(again, more later)

Weather: cloudy, fairly humid, occasional glimpses of sunshine

Distance: 8 miles

Before we set off, our Windy demonstrated some transformational changes, with some amazing and hilarious head gear, with wig attached. We all had a go, and thought T.B. looked a little like Iggy Pop. Windy then donned - a pair of pebble-dash glasses (just what had gotten into her? has that bout of diarrhoea gone to her brain? what will happen next week? will we be able to recognise her? - find out in next week's exciting instalment)

So, after much laughter we set off on our walk of the day. We were soon on the High Weald Landscape Trail where we found our first golf ball, and a very fit bloke, with a tractor, cutting the grass - anytime my dear - concentrate, woman.

We then encountered some really lovely countryside, with rather superb views and vistas, and, chatting as we do, we gaily climbed a hill, to discover we were not in the right place for our 'planned 'sighting of the steam train. Chris was edging along the fence, with a furtive look on her face, as cows were nearby, so we edged with her and had a break without bovines on our horizon. A thorough check of the maps meant a bit of re-tracing, and in so doing, we saw a family of deer gambolling (T.B. likes that word and asked me to put it in), which produced the aaaaah factor. Chris then found our missing signage, and we were back on the right track. We had already seen the steam train from the hill, but we got to a bridge, ran up the bank, and waved as it went past once more, and the driver and occupants waved back.

This is not enough for an anorak, and we very soon made our way round to another part of the track where we were within touching distance of the train. Here we got rather concerned about T.B.'s crack habit, as we watched him bend down to the rails. It was the wrong way for Mecca, and we don't know whether he was sniffing or kissing this beloved example of ironmongery, but anyway, a train was imminent, T.B. removed himself from the crack, and as the locomotive went by, we waved maniacally like the Railway Children we weren't.

Our path then led us towards the edge of the Weir Wood Reservoir, on the Sussex Border Path, and much busier than before, because the 'little darlings' are on their school holidays. A little further on is where we had our find feast. First of all , a tee shirt, temptingly wrapped round an overhead branch. Our gallant T.B., with the help of a long stick from Chris, managed to dislodge said item, and modelled it in his own special way. Farty found another tee shirt and a cap, and Clat found the plimsolls, which she put to good use as her legs were shrinking. Now, T.T.T.B stands for Technical, (cos he's good on a web), Tee shirt, Token Bloke -but only for this week.

The seasons are definitely changing, and today we saw many later summer flowers. The light is softer, the crops are maturing and being harvested, and we shall soon be in the season of autumn mists -or do i need to clean my glasses again?

A pylon confirmed we were still on track, and we headed upwards towards Standen - an N.T. house, which is closed on Tuesdays, but we walked straight into the grounds from the back, and got a freebie viewing of the lovely gardens and veg patch - nice marrows, mrs.

Nearly home, and a return to the H.W.L.T. , where we found another golf ball.

The pub did not score as highly as before, mainly due to the longer wait for our food, and getting the order wrong for teas and coffees, so deduct two points. Not to be outdone, Minnie then tried the afore-mentioned headgear - results as shown!

Right then - next walk is the Sue 12 legs Birthday Walk, and we are meeting on Tues 10 August, 1030, at the White Hart in Bletchingley (you can park at the rear). They stop food at 1430, but do not close, but a prompt start would be appreciated.

The Sheffield Park Three visit Horsted Keynes

Venue: The Crown, Horsted Keynes

Walkers: The Sheffield Park Three - Farty, TB and Mrs Provincial. Ms Nohills struck low by a nasty bout of food poisoning/Uckfield belly, Clatters away in Portsmouth, Registrara unavailable, Chris possibly still having shed problems? and 10 legs lost somewhere in deepest Sussex! We missed you all!

Weather: Hot and humid again, like last week - hence distance/time taken

Time taken: just over 3 hours, including a quick visit to the Bluebell Railway

Distance: 10k / 6 miles

Find of the walk: a child's discarded Man U glove - rightly discarded some would say!
The Three met in the car park of The Crown, Mrs P having just received a call from a very lost 10 legs! They had been travelling round most of Sussex and had arrived at Borde Hill gardens, but at that point Sue decided to give it a miss and take 8 legs for a walk on the way home.


We set off, almost immediately went wrong - oops! - but quickly got back on the right road towards Horsted Keynes church. We didn't stop this time, but apparently it is well worth a visit as it is very old with an interesting history, and also has the graves of Harold Macmillan and his family in the churchyard - they lived locally at Birch Grove and worshipped frequently in the church. On the road to the church we saw the very grand gates to The Old Rectory which we couldn't see but the grounds were lovely. Unfortunately I couldn't find any info on Google as to who lives in a house like this, but must be someone not short of a bob or 2!

We then joined the Sussex Border path which led us past a beautiful series of hammer ponds which were being fished by a local angling club. 2 smart alec blokes decided to call to Farty and Mrs P who were leading TB "hurry up and you'll catch the others up" What a cheek! Unfortunatly the others were a group of the dreaded ramblers so we spent the next half hour or so trying to avoid them - they obviously walk at a slower pace than us as we finally passed them taking a break by the side of the path.

The path passed a beautiful manor house called Broadhurst Manor which up until recently was the home of the writer Carla Lane and her animal sanctuary. A little bit of (quiet) road walking, over fields and onwards to the Bluebell Railway. We had timed it so we could be at the level crossing in time to see a train come down the line from Kingscote - or so we thought. We heard the 'chuff chuff', ran down the field but couldn't quite make it in time! However, all was not lost as we took a quick break and a look at the timetable revealed another train was shortly coming up from Horsted Keynes, which we waited for. TB tried not to get too excited! and got some great video clips on his new camera, unfortunately recorded with Farty and Mrs P's witterings in the background - well, there was a particularly fit driver on board who we were admiring. Ooo, young man!! (picture Editor (TB): not able to upload this 'stunning' piece of video for tech reasons!

left: 1em;">We then followed the path alongside the railway line, round a little loop and back over the line and into Horsted Keynes station. We decided to stop for a quick look, so a platform ticket later we found ourselves in . . . the bar ! We thought it was worth waiting to see the magnificent Sir Archibald Sinclair locomotive who duly arrived about 10 mins later, and all 3 of us turned into complete anoraks, ooing an ahhing at her shiny engine! More titters as we spied a great advertising sign for Clatters - see photos! Us girlies even inspected the victorian plumbing in the gents loo as recommended by TB - and promptly wished we hadn't - mind you, quite luxurious compared to some of the loos we've all had to visit over many years of flying.

So after our detour we made the decision to head back as quickly as possible to the pub as it stopped serving food at 2.30 and closed at 3. Fish and chips all round which was excellent but they chucked us out promptly just after 3, so we sat outside on a bench overlooking the village cricket pitch, meeting some of the local dogs until finally heading homewards. No scores for the pub as we are unlikely to visit again due to early closing time, however, it's a lovely pub, recently restored, good food although the menu is a bit gastro -y for us walkers.
So, overall a really lovely walk - very pretty, beautiful houses, lakes, woods, fields, railway and views. And by the looks of things, quite a few blackberries and sloes in a few weeks. We'll be looking to do another one around here, but try to do it from the Gardeners Arms in Ardingly next time as it serves food all day.
Next week's walk tba but very probably the Old Mill at Dunnings, East Grinstead. Hope to see you all!
(Note from Picture Ed: blog would have been published much earlier this week, but I was very slow to upload pictures & video)