Walton Heath - The Duke's Head

Shoe Me The Way To Go Home (supplied by Lil) 

Tuesday 14th December

Walkers: Farty, T.B., Windy, Lil and Clat. Everyone else has commitments and stuff.

Find of the Walk: a black trainer - hence title of blog

Distance: A whopping 91/2 miles

Weather: murky, dull, damp, wet, snowy in parts, very muddy in parts, cold.

Being so few of us we were suited and booted earlier than the norm. and set off over Banstead Heath towards the pond, which was 90% frozen over, and loads of ducks were on the periphery quacking about. Here, we found a road name which was suitable for Windy, so we got her to pose - and now this is the end to references about beds! A workman nearby - who wasn't working (surprise, surprise), offered to move his 'men at work' sign for our photographic shoot - ha ha ha, but Windy carried on with her poses extraordinaire.

Upwards now, through fields and woodlands, a subway under the M25, before reaching Headley, where we had our first break. This did not last long - too cold, and we set off again, passing many horses and ponies, who were dressed in the height of fashion with their Cath Kidston and other, bright and modern coats. A bit of dressage action was also going on - and then a bit of un-dressage action, as the rider took her jacket off.

T.B. is sporting some new eyewear - making a spectacle of himself - and we admired his new look. At various points, we found items of leg gear, starting with the trainer , and then a horse leg-gaiter followed by a hoof guard - what next? Actually, it was the same pair of underpants we had found a few months back - no takers then. We also spotted three deer - the sort with the cream bottoms.

Slightly before this we encountered some hosses on the loose. It appears that they'd managed to knock their field fencing down, and one of the stiles too. The result was that they were then in the footpath proper, and judging by the amounts of poo ,er sorry, rose compost, they had been there for a goodly time. Some manoeuvres were made and we were safely past them.

There followed a very muddy and icy track and no accidents - thankfully.

Back over the M25 and on to Banstead and Walton Heaths. The Sportsman pub was heaving, and we then wondered if our pub would be packed too. However, we had to get there, and the many tracks/paths and deviants meant that a little re-arranging of our route was necessary.

We got there in the end, and were pleased to soon be in the very welcoming atmosphere of one of our fave pubs, which had space for us. The landlady (always partial to a sighting of T.B), was her usual friendly self, and we had a good meal (altho Clat had burnt skin on her jacket - potato that is). We have decided we need to nominate a pub of the year, so we welcome your suggestions please, and the winner will be told, when we next get there.

Talking of next - the walk next Tuesday 21st. Farty and T.B. will be going to Brighton for the Burning of the Clocks event in the evening. They are hoping to get there for 1130 for walking and eating beforehand. Please contact them if you wish to go too. 21st is also the shortest day of the year, so the evenings will be getting lighter from then on - marvellous.

For the rest of us - undecided at the moment, as a walk will depend on people who are 'definites', bearing in mind the way the world seems to descend into chaos and busy-ness at Christmas. Failing this, a walk is planned for 28th - hopefully.

Right, for those we didn't or will not see - our love, thoughts and best wishes to you all for Christmas and the new year. Take care and cheers xxxxxx

Leigh I - The Plough

I'm Having a Leigh Down - read on!

Tuesday 7th December

Walkers: Farty, T.B., Mrs Provincial, Registrara, Lil and Clat. Windy could not make it as she is expecting a mattress - hence title of the walk - ha ha. 12 legs are escorting Mum to the dentist, Hoots has been re-arranged as a result of the snow, and is in Dubai, and Sally must be up there somewhere too.

Find of the walk - a pot of gold

Distance - 7 miles

Weather - fffffffrrrrrreeeeeeezing about -2 most of the way, but it was bright.

We didn't hang about with our pre-departure preparations and made our way down Clayhill lane, which had many icy parts, and eventually turned right and on to snow-covered fields. Fabulous views to behold, bright blue skies, and crisp and crunchy underfoot.

We know this walk well, so maps were not necessary, and after a while , came out onto Flanchford Road, noting a pair of navy blue underpants frozen to a gatepost - good night out or an 'accident'? - we didn't stay to investigate. The footpath then produced our gold, in the shape of golden chocolate coins, which were scattered for our benefit - rich beyond our wildest dreams - about 25p then.

Walking on the roads and footpaths meant conversations came to a halt, as attention was concentrated on not falling over, and none of us did, which was a real achievement. We crossed a snowy tundra and in the distance, spotted a nomadic tribe making their slow and steady progress - towards us it turned out, but they spoke our language and were not taking our route - thank goodness.

Once over Gadbrook Road, we had a quick stop for relief and refreshments, and noticed a walking signpost, standing erect and proud on the landscape. ' The Angel of the South' said T.B., and got his equipment out once more, to take a photo. Here, we had a practice run for Christmas, and did various ha ha ha poses followed by some ho ho ho ones ....................... judge for yourself, dear reader. Clat topped up the cold water bottles with some hot blackcurrant juice from her flask - next week it will be ChoCLAT - more ha ha ha then.

The snow produces some amazing footprints, and some, in particular, were rather disturbing, as they were the size of an albatross - we must be careful out here. Further along we saw a field of venison. The unsuspecting deer were gently grazing, blissfully unaware of our conversations about redcurrant jelly, dauphinoise spuds, and other niceties to complement the meat.

Wonham Mill came into view, and after years of neglect, it seems that this rather nice spot is to be converted into 'dwellings' (6 flats) - worth keeping an eye on. The albatross footprints continued, and we noticed, with alarm, that the prints were even impressed on the concrete - so they are heavy as well as big , then?

Mrs P just had to have this!

We trekked on through more fields and crossed the river, noting the evidence of some severe flooding , judging by the tidemarks, and debris left behind. It was obvious that round these parts, walkers are getting lost, as the farmer had kindly placed several 'no footpath' signs for us. Luckily, we knew our route, and after more fields, a road, and even more fields, the end was in sight. However in the final field, we had a lucky escape as an enormous pile of steaming straw and poo had landed in our path - we had missed the giant albatross!!! Through the churchyard, where T.B. spotted a tree with a 'face' on its trunk, and out to the cars. No stretching today - we zipped into the pub and had the usual high standard of service and attention, and lots of hot grub to warm us up.

Next walk - well, the jury's out. If you are unable to make next Tuesday 14th, please let us know, and if you are coming, and have a preference, then also let us know. This may be the last one before Christmas - you have been warned !!!!!!

Now, to bore you even further, here is a poem from my book - 'The poetry of Robert Frost'

'STOPPING BY WOODS ON A SNOWY EVENING'

"Whose woods these are I think I know

His house is in the village, though;

He will not see me stopping here

To watch his woods fill up with snow

My little horse must think it queer

To stop without a farmhouse near

Between the woods and frozen lake

The darkest evening of the year

He gives his harness bells a shake

To ask if there is some mistake.

The only other sound's the sweep

Of easy wind and downy flake

The woods are lovely, dark, and deep,

But I have promises to keep,

And miles to go before I sleep,

And miles to go before I sleep."

night night! xxxxx

Banstead Woods, Downlands Project

Here we are again with the livestock!

The shepherdess sees to her flock. Photos of a morning spent trying to park somewhere near the Woods with rain/sleet coming in all the time.Breaking ice on the various water troughs & then trudging back to the car somewhere towards Coulsdon

The Emerys go to town

Venue: Threave House, Isfield to Uckfield

Walkers: Mrs & Capt P!

Weather: Snowy and cold - what else?

Distance: About 5-6 miles

Time taken: 4 hours including an hour's visit to Tesco and bumping (almost literally) into friends

Pluses: Stunningly beautiful winter wonderland

Minuses: Unable to navigate due to white out!

As we woke to over a foot of snow, we decided to get some fresh air and walk across the fields into town (Uckfield) for some supplies. It's a very pretty and relatively easy walk but this time we decided to take another route/shortcut which we were pretty confident with . . BAD mistake! We hadn't realised just how much of the sineage had been obliterated with the snow and also how hard it made it when we realised we had taken the wrong direction and had to trudge back through knee deep snow. It wasn't helped by incorrect and missing signs from the farmers (thank you very much). However, we reckon it only added about half and hour to the time taken into town and it was absolutely beautiful. We were the only mad people out and about so we were walking through virgin snow - just a few deer and bird tracks and some lovely views. It was also so quiet, hardly a sound to be heard.

Having finally made it to town we dived into Tescos where predictably there was very little left on the shelves, but we did at least manage to get a few fresh veggies for our dinner. Loaded up the rucksacks, and set off for home. We then bumped into a number of friends before finally heading off back over the fields. Much easier journey this time as we had our old tracks to follow! However, in the first field we crossed Mrs P managed to take a tumble head first into a snow drift - much laughter from her caring husband! but was soon back on my feet until almost reaching the road to our house when I managed to slide off a snow covered bank and once again ended up in the white stuff! But - I had the last laugh as Alan needed to answer the call of nature and did exactly the same as me - I was, of course, all sympathy . . .

Arrived back home just in time to thaw out and have a restorative glass of chilled vino - brrrr! but most welcome! Cheers!

Hope you've all coped OK with the snow and are not housebound, and fingers crossed it's cleared by Tuesday - hope to see you all then!

Bletchingley V - The Whyte Harte

The Possibilities are Endless

Tuesday: 23 November

Walkers: Farty, T.B., 12 Legs, Mrs P, Windy, Lil and Clat. Sally joined us for lunch. Registrara is working, and Hootsmon is in Delhi.

Distance: 71/2 miles

Finds of the Walk: a plastic decoy pigeon, and a colourful ballpoint pen - which worked!

Weather: sunny, chilly wind, grey skies in the background - at least it wasn't raining.

We assembled at the Whyte Harte, for our usual pre-ramble coffees and examined Windy's face. She is healing well, thank goodness, with a few visible remnants from her fall - the song 'two lovely black eyes' no longer applies. Clat's brain, on the other hand, has not improved, as she turned up with her trousers on, inside-out - time for a tablet? Sue is under the doctor (if you'll pardon the expression), with her knee, and we are hoping it will withstand today's walk.

Manly Sherlock Dawg

Heading south, west, then south again, we travelled a little of the Greensand Way, and eventually had the M23 on our right. Quite surreal , as we were in the countryside and the drivers, weren't. Soon we came to a field full of dead wood, and T.B. photographed a log which looked just like a reindeer lying down. T.B./alias Steve Carter, vet. was sporting a very nifty deerstalker, so was quickly re-named Sherlock Holmes. However, when the earflaps went down, the look changed once more, to a Deputy Dawg impression, so we shall call him Sherlock Dawg - piccie attached with him looking manly.

We came to Henhaw Farm, and crossed a field containing Shetland ponies and vertically-challenged donkeys, so we called it Heehaw Farm - haw haw haw. One of them had lovely black rings round his eyes - running with Windy then? He came over for a nuzzle and a cuddle and was given some goodies to nibble on.

Talking of which, we have to mention the weekly delights provided by Mrs P and her Aga - gorgeous concoctions of fruits, nuts and gooey things - always delicious, and very much appreciated - yum yum.

Our next venue was Burstow Park Farm, a lovely Jane Austen type building, offering fresh eggs (laid that morning, no less), and honey, so some of the party did a bit of shopping.

Some lovely open-country walking followed, and we were heading towards Outwood. Thank heavens that Lil did a reverse-look at a stile, and noticed the correct signage to turn left - otherwise we would have been horribly off-track. After many fields , mud, and the odd air shaft or two, we were soon on the final path to the pub. We spotted two fat women with 4 fat pugs - who said dogs look like their owners? Farty also pointed out another dead wood structure which looked like a screaming witch.

Yet again, a positive and warm welcome from the pub staff, who are really getting to know us, and it was all nearly perfect. Marks were lost because the original fab chips are not provided any more, and some of the fish batter wasn't crispy enough. 18/20 - still a good mark, though.

Next walk will be Tuesday 30th November, which is St Andrews Day, and Hootsmon can celebrate. Venue - The Plough at Leigh to do Leigh I - one of our originals. ta ta.

Reigate Hill II - The Yew Tree Pub

Now, Where Did I Leave My Brain?

Tuesday 16th November

Walkers: Farty, T.B., Chris 2/12 legs, Mrs Provincial aka African Queen, Registrara aka African Queen II, Hootsmon, Lil, and Clatchat.

No Wind -y today as she has taken a tumble resulting in two lovely black eyes - or was she at the Audley Harrison v Hay fight a few nights ago?
No Sue or dawgies, as she has a poorly knee and is awaiting an m.r.i. scan
Good luck to you both and hope you will be with us again very soon.

Find of the walk: a Toyota grille

Distance: 7 miles

Weather: pretty wonderful considering all the rain we've had - sunshine, blue skies, and fog earlier which caused the start of the brain loss - read on.

Today there was a smash on both sides of the wretched M25 between junctions 8 and 9. Clat and Lil departed early in order to navigate the horrendous traffic jams. Good progress was made, until Clat took the wrong lane at the approach to j8 and sailed off eastwards. Seeing the vast lines of traffic on the 'other side' she was determined to get back as quickly as possible. A heading North followed by a Westerly stretch, meant that they were only 20 mins late - marvellous. Mrs P also held up at j 8 and others had a trying time coming up Reigate Hill.

Matters were not helped by discovering that the loos on the hill were closed for repair, and there are no decent bushes at this time of year.

We did our meetings and greetings as quickly as possible - there was a bit of boot action from the back of Mrs P's car, but we assembled and departed (more brain loss later). Down the hill we went - North Downs Way - and boy was it muddy. Along the golf course - Pilgrims Way - and eventually the outskirts of Merstham Village. Across the road and along a bit, before heading steeply upwards - Windy a real fave for you.

We made it to Fanny's Farm in record time, and were met with a lovely welcome ,as we settled into the bohemian atmosphere which is typical Fanny. T.B. made a slice of cake disappear in record time, and coffees and teas were served to all. News of Windy's demise has travelled fast and far, as Fanny had provided a suitable sign. We said hello to the vietnamese pot-bellied pigs, happy in their 7" of mud and taking in the sunshine. Of course the chickens were observed and admired by - guess who?

Trekking on and enjoying the sunshine, we crossed some fields and found a man - not so odd you would think, but he was walking in a suit and tie and ordinary shoes. We asked if all was ok and he, quite flustered , told us he was - how odd, but you never know what/who you will find on our walking days.

Still maintaining excellent timings we were back at the car park , and admired Registrara's new racey, red, car. She and Hoots had to leave us so farewells were said. This is when Clat discovered more brain-draining as she found her car front door wide open, which, presumably had been left like that after her hurried departure for the walk. Well, Meriva intacta is all she could think, as nothing had been taken or interfered with - how's that for safety (and luck) then?

As our furry friends were not here today, we drove to the Yew Tree Pub and had another lovely welcome. Nothing was too much trouble, and the staff friendly and welcoming . The landlady told us she was pregnant - a surprise to her as this was baby no 3., and after a gap of 12 years , completely un-expected. She had also just sold her people-carrier car, and got rid of all the baby stuff from the loft - that is called sod's law.

Farty and T.B. had to sign a 'beef cooked rare' disclaimer, so they cannot sue for undercooked meat - what is this world coming to?

Top marks again, so we are now having to look hard on points to mark down with.

Next walk: Tuesday 23rd November - Bletchingley - The Whyte Harte - we may be cooking-up another new walk from this popular venue. keep warm and keep dry. xxxxxx

East Grinstead - Dunnings Mill

Un-hinged and Bracket

Tuesday 2nd November

Walkers: Farty, T.B., 12legs, Windy, Clatchat and Lil

The African Queen (aka Mrs P) is suffering with kofta balls, Registrara is in Sarth Africa, Sally - where are you?, Hootsmon - unable to make it.

Find of the walk: the bracket - some of us are, however, un-hinged.

Weather: Grey, windy in parts, some sunny spells - very mild.

Distance: 8 1/2 miles, and according to Janet Street Pawter, we only need to walk 9 miles a week to stave off alzheimers - nearly there folks.

Gathered together, ready for the off, and so eager that we missed the correct start of our route. After a little way up a little hill, we returned and found the right route - right outside the pub. We walked northwards, behind some big houses and came across an ornamental duck pond with different varieties of our beaky friends. The duck-house had been tethered - no more floating voters then? A stack of wooden pallets also took our attention especially when Farty uttered the word 'buggeries'. She meant a home for bugs and we thought different - moving swiftly on...........................

Found bracket with Arborfield Buggery

A little bit of roadage and on to the next track, where we were nearly knocked flying by a corpulent male who filled his little jeep with himself. He glared at us and we noted a plastic pig was covering his tow-bar - says it all really. We arrived at a land-fill site which was also the site of the latest workings for the Bluebell Railway, and the track has been laid thus far - good news. We found Meeester Pig again, and this time he was friendly. As it turned out he worked for a local gun shop and was there to test some shotguns, which interested Clat as she used to do clay-pigeon shooting.

Our route then took us across open and muddy fields, with a wind that sprang up from nowhere - skiddy stuff, so we were pleased to be out and on to the Sussex Border Path. Some lovely countryside then followed - wide grassy avenues, vistas, and the glorious colours of an English autumn to be seen. At one point Farty transformed herself into a Thai bride, as a sweet chestnut decided to open up and land on her head - ' sawadika ' as they say over there.

A quick break and more lovely countryside - quite a few footbridges too, and eventually we came to Fenn Place Mill - a gorgeous home for someone. We were now heading southwards and came to Kingscote Station, on the Bluebell line. A quick chat to the stationmaster meant that the 'Fenchurch' was running today, with an observation carriage. We had a deadline to meet if we were going to see this iron beast in action so on we went, met a lovely Jack Russell called Booey, who laid a stick at T.B.'s feet, and arrived in time at our viewing point. T.B. got as close to the tracks as possible, whipped out his device, and photographed the on-coming train. We waved at the occupants, and they waved back - mission accomplished, although T.B. wondered out loud if any of us had brought some red knickers to wave - what HAS he been watching?

Homeward bound - we tracked through Mary Wood, The Rough, and High Wood, passed some hockey pitches and the Scientology place (heavily guarded), finishing along the High Weald Landscape Trail.

We were more than ready for our food and drink - we ate indoors and all was good although for Windy un oeuf was not enouef , but the fault was rectified. Forgot to mark it but reckon it was all pretty perfect. T.B. said the men's loo was good.

The next walk: Tuesday 9th November (we know already that Mrs P will not be coming - it's her birthday!): Reigate Hill - with, hopefully, a stop for cawfeee at Fanny's Farm. Cheerio x